Alexandra..."wouldn't it be nice if there were a reduction of fear and ignorance, and the need for severely and DADT situations", but these are two different and totally separate issues in my eyes.

First and foremost .... in a DADT relationship, it deals with us and our spouse or significant other, and what their wishes are. Blended into that DADT is a need for secrecy because they don't want "anyone to know" what you do behind closed doors. Before you decide on coming out to those around you, please think of your wife ... while she is supportive of Alexandra, that may be a line that she just doesn't want you to cross over, for whatever reason. This is why many of the girls that you have met and described here are in different stages ... from sneaking around behind their significant others backs because the answer is "NO" or they don't know, to restrictions or requests that our significant others make of us.

Also, many will stereotype the situation, and especially if they are friends or neighbors, your wife may get bombarded with that same question that almost most of us get when we first disclosed to our loved one....the "do you like men" question. I'm sure that many wives / girlfriends / significant others think this when they are told or find out inadvertently, and I am guessing that this is one of the scariest things that they must face in the relationship....whether you are really there for them, or just need them to be there when it suits you? My wife is supportive as well, has recently recommended that I attend several meetings and monthly parties without any hesitation, BUT the neighbors can never find out about Maria. Does this make sense...kind of, if you ask me, because I have to put myself in her shoes (wouldn't I love to do that all the time!) and get the "looks" and hear the "whispers" about her husband? Some people may not care at all, while others may decide that its the gossip of the block and we need to make sure that everyone knows. I know for my wife, this is the biggest fear that she has, so I have to respect her wishes. She lets me venture out, only recently, but asks that I leave the house in "boy mode" and return the same way. Now this does make it hard at times, depending on where my plans take me, but I have to respect, as she is respecting me. Let me tell you, its really hard to come home on a night like last Thursday, after getting all dressed up for a bar/club get together and at midnight trying to turn back into the guy that lives next door to you!

And I have to ask you .... does your wife know that Alexandra goes out and meets with others? You've been dressing only for a year and going out for 8 months - well that deserves an applaud as for many of us, especially me, it took many years before I was willing to venture out, and even with my wife finding a place for me to go to, I still was hesitant and scared. If your wife says its fine for you to go out, you are in a better place than many of us...I know girls that I have spoken with over the phone and chatted thru emails and texts over the years that are still sneaking around after all these years, or have the ok at home, but had to promise that they would never venture out. Also, for some, they, like me, wanted to go out, but didn't have the urgency to do it and as the years go by, you just get used to the fact that you only dress at home .....