I think it’s probably true that most women would prefer their husband not crossdress, though it’s hard to tell how many would break up a relationship over it, because there aren’t any good studies on something generally treated like a dirty secret.Originally Posted by Stephanie47
But you know, the same thing can be said about polyamory or watching copious amounts of porn or lots of sexual proclivities people have, and yet people make compromises over in a relationship.
Also, people do have a right to get out of a relationship they don’t want. Even women!
Yes, If you live in an autocratic regime where marriages are arranged and you can locked up or executed for your sexual identity.
In the circumstances you are describing however, absolutely not. If you are CDing at a frequency that involves deception, including evasiveness, about time or money that would otherwise be available for mutual choice in a relationship, its not ethical. Not murder or assault or domestic violence level unethical, but at least moral cowardice.
I fully accept this depends on the relationship, and can be negotiated in many ways. If you are able to CD without feeling like you have to hide or evade or gaslight, by arranging private time for yourself, than good! But it sounds like you can’t.
Every argument you are making for why it’s ok to lie to your wife can and has been made by people cheating on their spouses ( see also hiding addictions, STDs and criminal behaviour). People who just “can’t help themselves”, whose wives don’t understand them, etc. Well, people who really and truly don’t want to be or can’t be monogamous have ethical options. It’s taken risking social dissaproval and accepting a limited pool of partners and a lot of rejection, but polyamory and non-ethical monogamy are a thing now. People who practice it have to actually communicate with their partners and treat them like equals, but also get to enjoy not being cheating scum.
Your wife probably won’t appreciate your CDing. Most women find porn tailored to male tastes ridiculous and pretty depressing and most men find erotic novels for women ridiculous (and often unsettling if they ever bother to read them). Even gay couples run across the problem that our sexual tastes are highly individualised and yet baffling to those who don’t share them. You probably won’t find a woman who is more than merely tolerant of cross-dressing without advertising on specific sites. If you are honest though, you might readily find a woman who loves you without having to lie to her constantly, without treating her with contempt and taking away her choices. Maybe even your wife.
