Like so many here, I can pass pretty well in photos, but real life is something else. Nonetheless, I find being myself to be empowering, and when I am in public I think my confidence and good cheer win me "normal" treatment. That's now, when I know who I really am and have a number of friends who have spent time with me.

But when I first began shopping regularly for the clothes I really like, about ten years ago, I would order them online from Penney's, and pick them up, in drab, at the store. That way I avoided passing worries and shipping costs, and kept my non-supportive wife from seeing my purchases. As it happened, the staff at my local Penney's tended to be elderly European ladies dressed all in black, who were all extremely pleasant. They were so nice, in fact, that I even brought them little gifts, like chocolates, and they called me by my first name. In retrospect, I'm sure I would have had no problem being myself with them.

These nice old ladies gradually left, however, and one day there was an obvious emergency draftee from the management side at the counter. She was quite good-looking, in her early thirties, and wore a very stylish and colorful dress. She also felt a need to loudly announce to the others in line that I was picking up a pair of women's shoes and a dress. I smiled, because what am I supposed to say to that? And as she handed me my bags, she said, "Here's your goodies," with a sneer. No one in line blinked an eye; I'm sure they were as embarrassed by her rude behavior as she hoped I would be.

Penney's lost a loyal customer that day. I suppose I could have gotten her in trouble--especially since the company was quietly pro-LGBTQ--but I had no desire to punish her. God, I wish I had her lovely body, but I felt sorry for her emotional need to belittle me; and maybe my self-possession caused her to rethink. Dream on?

Lallie