To be honest, an online forum is not the best place to get the best advice for you. While there are some here who have been there, done that, and some who consider themselves experts on the subject, there are also some who post primarily for attention who have no experience or first hand knowledge.
Your best starting place is with a qualified therapist and then an experienced doctor.
Btw, I Googled the title of your thread and got lots of hits. You should try that.
