Originally Posted by
ReineD
Try not to take it too personally. Yes, she did have her say, but in the morning she relented and asked you to not throw the things out. I'm a GG so maybe I can help translate.
Excluding you, your wife has had no frame of reference for a man's desire to wear women's clothes, other than all the general misconceptions in the media (and in most people's attitudes) that she has been exposed to her entire life. She is familiar with men in dresses from knowing about Drag Queens (whom most people assume are gay). She is familiar with the stereotype of effeminate gay men wearing not-masculine clothing, even if they don't actually crossdress. In most people's minds, the crossdressing is associated either with effeminate men or men with fetishes, or both. And few wives want to compete with any fetish their husbands may have. I'm guessing your wife grew up in a family where no one was a crossdresser, and she has no crossdresser friends.
If you continue to react out of anger when your wife is being honest with you about her misgivings and/or her fears, she will learn to keep them to herself. This is not good because eventually you will buy more panties and shoes, and eventually you will buy more dresses. And the two of you will have the proverbial unspoken elephant in the room, which will eventually drive a wedge between you. Resentments will follow along with a loss of emotional intimacy.
You need to sit down with your wife and talk things through NOW. Don't wait.
Edited to add:
I hadn't read your follow up post and see that you did talk it through with her. That's good. If the two of you still need to resolve things, you might go ahead and see a marriage counselor who is familiar with crossdressing. The counselor will help the two of you get on the same page.