While I'm obviously none too happy at her behaviour the other night, and not exactly over the moon at her apology-non-apology the evening after, my intent was to not start a wife bashing thread.
She is far from perfect, there are definitely issues in our marriage that stem from how she acts from time to time, but I feel there are a lot of assumptions being made and some are a bit over the top.
She is, by some measure, the primary bread winner. We both work, but she makes considerably more than I do - at a cost. While I work about 35 hours a week (from home), she usually puts in about 50 and that's not including a 90 minute round trip commute each day. Hence me shouldering the vast majority of the housework. (Partially out of empathy, partially out of necessity - if I left it, it would NEVER get done, hah) She is a serious workaholic, this was a known entity going into the marriage on my part (just as my crossdressing was on hers). As such, while I'm not thrilled at the fact that she's often not here (either physically, or when she is she's on her phone checking emails and whatnot) that's not a stick I can possibly beat her with.
As such, she gets drained quite a bit. As such I'm cool with her taking time to herself. Not to the extent she's been doing the past month or so, which included a weekend away (which she discussed with me prior to agreeing to go on said trip, and she did so with my blessing). This coupled with the wildfires, power blackouts, and our kid being off school for large chunks of time has led to tensions being higher than normal in most every house, ours included.
THIS IS NOT AN EXCUSE TO ATTACK ME REGARDING CROSSDRESSING, but after a couple of days to cool down and attack it rationally provides some context.
Regarding her control over me - there is an element of that, but not as many as quite a few are making out. I get my way quite often. Too often, in fact - this was something that came up in the "aftermath discussion" where I have had a habit of asking for forgiveness rather than permission. (Which I pointed out I didn't really feel like I should require either for every action, while I recognize we're partners, we're beholden to each other, which she said was fair enough actually.) She will often attempt to kick me out of the house to go on a motorcycle ride or beers with the boys, although should be noted there's not a ton of time to actually DO those things.
I've been around here long enough to have read the war stories many of you have had with your wives over the years. I know where quite a few are coming from and sympathize massively, but while many of you have had some horrible experiences, I can't honestly agree that my wife has acted in the same way. That is not in ANY way saying she's perfect or that I have issues with the way she occasionally acts or treats me, but these instances are far from the norm. (And yes, I can already sense a few eye rolls at me saying that, I get it!) She's my wife, I love her, and 99.9% of the time she's got my back. (Which might be why when the 0.1% of the time she doesn't, it comes as an absolute blow)
Still draggin' her contrarian backside to counseling, though!
