Laura, you are right, my regular counselor who knows me well doesn?t push me on any direction and lets me talk through the issues. She knows the stakes at work and socially. The other counselor at the hospital is much more direct (not knowing my background well) and tells me to come out to my kids asap (they are living and studying abroad), to my sister, and basically come out at work while hiring a divorce lawyer. A bit abrupt for my liking.

Marie, absolutely, I am not a public figure, but reasonably known and respected in business and social circles. This would be a shock. But I don?t really want to be a closeted CD, I?ve come to the conclusion of who I really am. The issue is how to get there limiting the damage (understanding that there will be damage to my life as I know it and to others). I have thought of the possibility of throwing all out, moving houses, quitting work and moving my life to start fresh on my own. But we are social animals and need some social support as well, my kids will always be my kids, plus we tend to need to work.

Pamela, I agree, the law is trans friendly and should protect me, but there are ways corporates can fight it. My goal is not to be compensated for letting me go under whichever pretext (it is certainly illegal to fire anyone for being trans). I would love to keep doing my job, or a less client or businessworld facing one, as the woman I am. I came out to one of my best friends (he happens to be gay). He tells me that my resume is still the same and companies would fight for me. That?s what you would expect from a good friend, but the reality of trans women seems to be far more difficult, and the top corporate ladders do not tend to be very trans friendly. I should not have any illusions. I am not aware of any trans woman as member of the board of directors of a public company, although someone has to be the first one.

Taking the final step I dream about would mean happiness but likely no job, ostracism from social circles, likely divorce which I don?t like, and keeping very few friends. I guess I would not be any different to many trans women on this forum. Thus my desire to cross that bridge whenever I get there after months or years of HRT, while transitioning and coming out to more and more people, even if it is done at a snail pace...