I think there is a difference is perception among the general public between a transsexual and a cross dresser, although without having knowledge I think nobody would be able to tell. In my state cross dressing falls under "gender expression." Over the years there have been some controversy is school districts when a teacher returns from summer vacation as a woman when before the summer vacation she presented as a man. In none of the instances has it been said the person was a MtF crossdresser. Cross dresser or pre-op transsexual I would conjecture your friend realizes she would not be as accepted in some areas of the country as others Perhaps there is more tolerance in some companies that have a strong policy of inclusion. If you are in a state with strong anti-discrimination laws her coworkers have to accept her as far as the work environment. However, that does not mean she would be invited to a summer BBQ.
I don't know what constitutes an "ogre." My son is six foot four and quite hairy. He would stand out like a sore thumb if he presented as a woman. On the other hand a man who is the average height of a woman may pass as an unattractive woman using societal standards.
