I believe in compromises for the sake of the health of your marriage. My wife and I have made them and they mostly work for us.
Just make sure both sides are making them to an approximately equal extent. She can't get away with "Never, ever, ever, ever" or give you some kind of ultimatum. That's the position a dictator takes with his/her subjects. By the same token, you can't get away with announcing you will do whatever, whenever without regard for her feelings. The key ingredient to a workable compromise is respect, mutual respect.
It's my guess that you don't really need her to give a whole lot of ground in order to feel your needs are met, although I have no suggestions as to how you might get that to happen. You just have to talk whenever it feels like she's willing to listen, and listen when she needs to talk. You might find some deeper insights as to what her biggest concerns are. I eventually learned that my wife was fearful that I would "outgrow" her, whatever that means, then transition and leave her. My strategy became to dress whenever I felt the need and demonstrate that my personality never changed and that I wasn't going anywhere. But that's me and that's her. But I do know this. I'm not a complete human being without my feminine self as a full participant in my life. Having her barred by my wife's dictates is a non starter. I was prepared to end the marriage if my wife's position was a hard "No" or I was forced into DADT.
I hope this helps. I hope your relationship can be helped. You have a lot of people here rooting for you.
