I feel so sorry for you. You suffered grievously at the hands of your parents. Your father was a monster for what he did and your mother was a monster for pimping you to him. I don't know which is worse. There's a special place in hell for both of them.
You need to see a counselor to help you sort through your crap. The first thing you need to do is love and accept yourself and get as far away from your parents as possible. The child doesn't owe the parents A SINGLE THING, you least of all.
But that may or may not have been the cause of our crossdressing. Through your counseling, you will either drop the dressing as being unnecessary, or you will embrace it and love it as a part of you.
I so wish you can find your way out of the crap you have been through. Nobody deserves it and you have suffered the nightmares long enough. Keep posting about your progress.
