SirDonna,
So much depends on the personalities behind the meetings or groups , some want to embrace all , going down the strength in numbers road , others tolerate the other factions .

Personally I support pride events but my social groups are more for CDers and TG members . To the TG community it's a double edged sword the LGBTQ banner gives us strength to make us more visible to the public but at the same time I'm not gay so do I really need to use a communitythat helps the majority of gay members . It's part of the reason why some people pose the question of being gay . My wife told me she has had to assure friends and work colleagues that I'm not gay , this does beg the question what is so wrong with being gay ? Why does it make her feel better telling people I'm not ?

As for telling people what I am , if I have to tell them anything I'm TG , I never say I'm a CDer , wearing male clothes feels more like it now . I've arrived at the point where the only label I use is my name , I'm totally accepted as that .

I can understand you posing these questions, wearing female clothes isn't that straight foward , so many questions arise from that act . One of my counsellors tried to cure me of living off assumptions , we assume all the labels are true in fact they are they are often false fears going round in circles in our heads . Society isn't half as bad as we imagine , people just want to live their own lives and deal with their own problems , if we aren't in their faces we will usually succeed .