Carisa,
I can understand the desire to fully explore where your dressing can take you. I've written before that I decided I didn't want to be on my death bed thinking "I wish I'd....".
Hence although in the closet to all including my SO I've explored the boundaries of my CD'ing. I've spent extended time enfemme out and about, met other CD'ers socially, used public transport, ate in restaurants, gone to the cinema and of course shopped to include using the female changing rooms.
This all happened over a number of years, building success upon success. I would call it a sort of organic progression.
So my advice would be to take whatever steps you feel comfortable doing and expand your envelope at a pace both you and your SO find comfortable. When you find yourself in some state of equilibrium, a place you're comfortable with, that's your spot on the spectrum.
