We get this impression that we have, as a society, made progress and then something like this happens. So glad you confronted their opinions. That is really what is needed. Exposure to "weirdos" like us help them see we aren't so weird afterall, but being called out for showing prejudice and hateful or at least hurtful comments is what is needed.
It happened to me with a sister-in-law and her daughter-in-law. What was it about? A messenger bag that looks faintly like a purse that carry my stuff in. "Bad influence on the kids." B.S. It really hurts when someone does that, especially when they put on that they are so accepting of others. They are, provided the others meet their standards for behavior. I confronted them and their tales of all the terrible things that could happen to me if I deviate from the narrow definition of what a male should look like. Goodness! Open discrimination and they don't even recognize it. Of course that might happen in the city they live in as it is really conservative. But here in Denver people are different than there. Those kinds of things like that don't happen very often. In another sense, their pressure is an attempt to force their standards on you by shame and pressure. Sorry. It just damages the relationship. Who wants to be friendly with family members that think of you that way and let you know that carrying a bag that looks a bit like a purse is not acceptable.
