All sexual arousal is fetishistic in the sense that there is always some thing that triggers arousal. The thing could be an object, an idea, a quality, a look, etc. or a combination of these things. What we usually associate with fetishes or paraphilias are when those things are unusual or extreme. Fetishistic crossdressing is so steeped in shame and denial that I suggest that one shouldn't ask themselves if it's a fetish, ask your wife.
