@jodie_lynn

I have to say I generally am in agreement with how you phrase "gender fluid." I'm generally in that category (have always loved wearing lingerie and historically "femme" colors and patterns on my mens shirts) because it made me feel pretty, special, and feminine. For years I thought generally I belonged solely in the "fetish" or "crossdresser" category, but as time marches on and I've thought more about it, I realize that those words or concepts don't apply to me, or at least I don't want them to apply to me. I don't like the fetish language because it's far more than that, and for me I don't prefer the word "crossdresser" as a label for me personally because I grew up in an era when it was used in the context of someone being a deviant. Now I consider myself to be in that nebulous category of gender fluid/gender non-conforming because I feel at home when I express myself in a feminine way, but I still strongly identify as male.

I don't think I'm explaining it particularly well because in part I don't really know how to explain it. I guess the best way to phrase it is that I enjoy for instance wearing "women's" tops not just because I think they are really pretty and well designed, but also because I like the feminine emotions that I associate with wearing them.

Anyway, I still struggle with what label applies to me. As you say JL, I agree it's a bit of a placeholder, and in many ways a very vague one at that. It's difficult though because there are LOTS of very specific terms used to describe gender these days, and more coming. Gender expansive, gender nonconforming, gender euphoric etc. etc. It's like every university is competing to see who can come up the newest gender term!

Whatever term you use, though, and I am very much speaking to and in support of @mezzanine here - it's a bit silly to think that we have to ask for much less receive permission from a LGBTQ+ steering committee to decide whether any of us belongs in much less is actually a part of that community. If you identify in a way that falls outside of traditional cisgender, heterosexual norms, then you are a part of the LGBTQ community. That at least is how I look at it.

If you want to disagree with that statement, that's fine. But it doesn't change my belief that someone can or should characterize themselves however they deem appropriate.