Hey Star,
I assume you have seen some of my posts. Although I have been caught with dressing a bit over the years, I am not allowed to own a single female item so I have to be very careful to keep it all closeted. The constant anxiety and concern over the covid situation along with being cooped up at home almost all the time leaves very little time for dressing up, and it is all combining to take a mental toll for sure.

I had been doing some risky activities. Like waking up in the middle of the night, getting dressed and going for a walk in the quiet neighborhood. I even went to an early am doctor appointment dressed up one day. I was headed toward getting caught, so I dug out one of my hobbies from 20 years ago to get my mind focused on something else. It has helped a bit to focus on other interests. Even so the fog can come back in and whack me sometimes.

I was able to travel a lot for work pre covid, but now that is all but gone. It would be more difficult in a rural setting to find somewhere to go for sure. I used to go to bars and clubs, and I know you do not drink, but i will say if you have never been to a drag show while dressed, it can really be fun. Many times there are far more women to hang out with in the audience, and you do not have to drink alcohol. Anyhow even all that is gone for the time being. At least in my area of travels.

I am almost at the point of giving up on dressing. I am not planning to purge, but it is really hard to find a time that I can dress. Probably a trip to the mall is about all I could do at best. It sounds like that is not an option for you. I understand completely. No options at all. Hopefully covid will be less of a risk in a number of months and that might open some new opportunities. Until then, we just have to endure.

One thing I am able to do is shop online because I have a UPS mailbox at a UPS store. Seems like even that is not an option for you.

Take care

Sandi