Uh, that's just too funny.
Moving right along, the getting caught thing is the unfortunate reveal moment. Now there are a few issues that need to be nailed down.
As a couple, you don't have to always agree but you do need to stay on the same page.
And open communication should never be compromised.
Your mileage may vary but, she needs to at least know that you understand her concerns.
I think the worst part of this proclivity is the clandestine nature. Although we choose to hide it, we don't hide it by choice.
Societal pigeonholing makes that choice for us.
And true DADT is just a myth.
You need to not let anything fester or act like nothing happened.
When I was told that it would have been a deal breaker and should have been disclosed,
I asked where exactly was the list that I was given?