Another winner for Julie. Excellent.

The battle of the labels isn't inherently bad. Language requires some kind of classification to understand what is being communicated. One person from a very different land asks, "What is that thing that is like a red cone with a bunch of leaves on the fat end and tiny yellowish spots all over it?" Other person, "Oh, that is called a Strawberry." A label, a name can be really useful.

But there are a lot of different kinds of strawberries and the description by the first person is of that particular strawberry. The problem arises when that particular strawberry becomes the ideal model for all strawberries. Trouble is sure to follow unless all strawberries look similar to that strawberry. The Type or the Stereotype is born and anything that doesn't fit the definition is automatically something else. Well all of that is pretty obvious. Yet we do that all the time. Not bad; not even harmful. Until we start basing truth on the model our brains use to help identify things. The model becomes the reality.

This in turn leads to a great battle in our brains. In short, the amygdala detects something different and apparently unknown. It turns on the fight or flight response useful for saving your life when you come across something that doesn't fit your model. That creates an "Us vs. Them" dichotomy of some degree. If the prefrontal cortex (PFC) can't match it to something in memory and tells the amygdala to "cool it" then the "Us vs Them" remains active and the amygdala remains excited. The PFC keeps the warning alert active.

In the "Us vs. Them" world the differences between what is seen and the model rule the reaction. Those are easier to spot than looking at all the similarities that might lead to a conclusion that this unknown thing is actually harmless and safe. We need to draw distinctions to produce single words or phrases that define what we are talking about. Sadly, those distinctions are powerful drivers of the instinct for self preservation and thus really useful in the wild. But to know the similarities requires us to get better acquainted with this unknown. The amygdala says, "Don't do that. It is dangerous because it is different." One part of the PFC says, "I agree. Run." Another part of the PFC says, "Wait. It is similar in some ways to the memory model. Tentatively investigate. It might not only be safe but beneficial. Stay alert, but learn more."

Thus the more we look at differences and base our interaction on those differences pretty much alone the stronger the "Us vs.Them" rules us which leads to a bit of tribal behavior. There are a lot of other things that go into producing that behavior that Julie describes in her fictional conversation which, unfortunately, is not always that fictional. And it results in discrimination, prejudice and cherry picked definitions that do nothing but divide us into groups with solid boundary walls between us. Look beyond the scary differences until you really know that you should be scared. Be cautious but try sugar spray instead of pepper spray. It really does work to dissolve the walls we build and form a caring commonality. There are a lot of different kinds of strawberries, but each has to be what they are. Yet they all taste like strawberry. Enjoy the diversity and learn from it.