Charlotte,
I feel you hit the crux of the problem , she has to deal with people you may chose to mix with whose behaviour your wife wouldn't like . So what is the bad behaviour she fears so much ? I agree they prefer not to lose the man she married but my counter argument to that is she was not the woman I originally married either . Being trans and living a life more as a female doesn't take away the abilities and qualities you once had , it actually broadens your scope because you become a much more rounded person .
May I ask if that's the only thing she has strong feelings about ? The reason I'm asking is aside from my gender issues my wife didn't really like my art or my arty friends , she didn't like my choice of music , declaring it " Rubbish ! I could continue .
I look back and realise my dressing was possibly the excuse she was looking for to end our marriage , I admit we were both relieved when we finally decided it was the best course of action . After the children have flown the nest sometimes you find there is a black hole that will never be filled .
To mix with other trans people or members of the LGBTQ community is no bad thing , for me it helped guide me to my own needs and identity , I knew which roads I prefer not to travel down and certain people I didn't need or want in my life, in the process I met some lovely people and found good friends . It's also worth considering that about 25% of my social groups are attended by wives and partners and most do enjoy it .
