I know how it feels - not to worry - here are some easy ways to dampen height visually:
1. Dress in layers - tops and bottoms of different colors and motif - the " stacked " appearance breaks up the vertical lines, try shirts and tops with rounded neck lines or shallow V's over deep & sharp vees.
2. Likewise, wear a wig that emphases width & volume more than length, a straight wig with long locks adds to the verticals.
3. Use your jewelry and accents to add to these effects - try wearing a belt, make triad of prominent jewelry around your face to create its own layer, pearls are an easy way to see this effect.
So if you have a black skirt with colored or motif top with white in it + pearl necklace and earrings can pull from the whites - there are 3 prominent layers there - add the shoes & stockings is 4
When you add them al up - they can have a big effect on appearance. To demo it - try a mono color dress vs the layered look and see how you feel.
Try a bright colored top or white or nice motif top + belt + black bottom vs 1 color - the effect is very apparent.
I have had a tough go finding s 12 flats too and have always ben self conscious more than is apt about my height en femme .
