Get your paperwork and finances in order immediately. This is going to end badly. You are not married, so you can't have a pre-nuptual agreement (something everyone who is married should have), but I hope you have some kind of legal marriage-like domestic partner type contract with her that will protect your money and assets. If the house is in both your names, you may lose it, same with joint bank accounts and other property. You might want to even consider consulting a lawyer. If she doesn't leave, you need to.
This is absolutely abuse. I can't see how anyone can view it differently.
