Are you discussing your feelings with a therapist? If not, I would strongly advise that you begin with that conversation before any other explorations. Try to identify the root of your feelings. Try to tease out separate what is exciting from what is fulfilling. Discuss the obsessive thoughts. You are likely to discover that there are a variety of needs, desires, beliefs and insecurities interacting.
In particular, avoid reducing all your emotions to a single cause. If you are patient enough with yourself, and open to a range of possibilities