You will likely get several responses here, attempting to give you advice on what to do. As such, all are likely valid (more or less), but when it comes down to it, it is you who must decide who you are and how you must live. My best friend is also a trans woman. She transitioned a few years ago and will tell you that she finally had no choice, even though it cost her most of the things that mattered to her. She will also tell you that you should avoid making that choice if you can, and to be happy that you can.
For my part, I would encourage you to pursue therapy, and to be as open with your therapist as you have been here, about your feelings and fears. You won't get any easy answers, but with a talented therapists guidiance, what answers you do get will be from yourself.
