I think a more productive conversation would've been about what was situationally appropriate. Pants and shoes without heels are more practical for day-to-day life so that is what most women wear. No one puts on heels to go to the hardware store.
I do feel like when you were raised in a society that tells you not to wear women's clothing a lot of people overcompensate for time lost and maybe go a bit overboard. In that respect there may have been some truth to what she was saying, and that may have been what she was feeling.
On the other hand it's up to every individual to decide what is appropriate for them to wear and this feels a bit like controlling, gaslighting behavior. One thing about this story I find... odd though.
You'd been dating for two weeks and she told you that you weren't allowed to be trans? And that relationship persisted?
