Brain farts while shopping for girly things?

[SophiaRose]

Last weekend I made a trip to Target to pick up some new hosiery. I did my research to make sure they had what I wanted in the store before going but once I got into the ladies section it turned into a debacle. My heart started to race and I came away with a pair of sheer off black hose two sizes too small, a pair of nude hose in the wrong shade, and an impulse buy (thanks to the fog) of some designer tights two sizes too large! On another occasion I thought I was buying a lip pencil and ended up with lipstick. Argg! Does anyone else's brain turn to mush when out shopping? It's not the time or the money spent that bugs me, it's the missed opportunity, having gotten up the nerve to spend time in the gals department in drab, that's so annoying. Does it get any easier? Shopping on line and having stuff delivered home is a bit too risky should my wife open the package. Maybe I need a gal pal to hold my hand.

[SylphDevine]

I just shop with my wife. Makes everything smooth and easy. She knows what I like and makes it look like I'm being supportive of her shopping when it's actually her helping me decide what to buy.

I still get fluttery and excited, she just helps keep me grounded. I've bought some of my best things when with her.

[bridget thronton]

It does get easier the more often you shop - just own it (you are not doing anything illegal)

[Cheryl T]

Can't say as I ever had a day like yours.
I used to get really nervous but always seemed to come away with the items I needed.

[JesseVF]

Yes I can relate. I used to go when the store opened to avoid crowds which helped but still not easy.
I find it easier to shop fully dressed - (although with my wife now retired those chances will diminish) - while still nerve wracking I relax after a bit. No idea if that?s at all possible for you to try.

[Natalie5004]

Remember that you have every right to be there.

[NancySue]

Yes, I?ve run into availability issues, and it is frustrating. My solution is I shop on line, Amazon, Her Room, Macy?s, etc. it?s fun when packages arrive.

[Suzie Petersen]

For online shipping, just do Amazon and have them deliver to one of their drop box locations, then you pick it up there. It is super easy.

[kimdl93]

I remember being quite nervous the first couple of times I shopped for women?s items in person/male mode. One occasion in particular helped put me at ease. I picked up a pair of stockings in size Q and SA helpfully asked if I was sure my wife?s size. I responded that the size was correct. They are for me. She immediately smiled and rang them up, then stopped and asked me to wait for a second. She disappeared into I assume the store room and came out with another pair of stockings. She explained they had been opened and returned, and that I could have them for free if I wanted them. Of course, I did

After that experience, I was far less concerned. A sale is a sale, after all, and most of the SAs are really nice too! But it also was not long before I started going out en femme, so subsequent purchases were made in girl mode.

[ttacitus]

Practice, practice, practice... Sounds like your next lesson is the returns desk

[Marketa]

I don't have enough courage to buy hosiery and similar things in my drab-mode. So far what I was able to do were smaller things like perfume or hair accessories and from bigger ones handbag and a wallet, but these all look like I'm buying presents. For me it's the little steps towards hosiery and maybe even some clothing even though I probably will be buying these only as me and not my male-self.

Funny thing is as a male I was asked twice by girlfriends to buy them emergency pantyhose. They sent me size and colour and I had no problem to buy them for them. But for myself? It's like the SA KNOW it's for me! It's ridiculous.

[shineyleggs]

Anymore when I get the urge to shop, I just walk in and start looking like I know what I want. Make sure you are confident on the size or color of the item you want to get. After 32 years of being married, I have lost all inhibitions of being nervous in the women's department, and looking thru the racks, what also helps is when the wife asks if I need any new underwear, while in the women's department, and she helps to find the right size and a color she likes.

[docrobbysherry]

Simple solution, Sophie. Write down the sizes of everything u wear and the colors u want at home. Then, check your notes in the store. So, no matter how nervous u r u won't make silly mistakes!

Plus, I carry a small tape measure in my pocket to be sure clothes will fit me before I buy. I shop in drab so trying on clothes in stores is pointless because I'm not wearing my forms or pads!

And, don't be so hard on yourself. I'm still figuring out women's things after nearly 30 years of shopping for them!

[Deeann]

Anymore when I get the urge to shop, I just walk in and start looking like I know what I want. Make sure you are confident on the size or color of the item you want to get. After 32 years of being married, I have lost all inhibitions of being nervous in the women's department, and looking thru the racks, what also helps is when the wife asks if I need any new underwear, while in the women's department, and she helps to find the right size and a color she likes.

First time I went to a Lane Bryant I was a bundle of nerves I browsed and then settled on some new panties. I couldn't figure out my size and was so nervous I thought the SA was going to ask me too leave. Fortunately another SA came to my rescue and helped me out. She also helped me with a first time bra fitting and while in the dressing room she calmed me down and told me not to worry. She then have me a big hug and told me too come back Any time. Since that time i have gotten better and enjoy telling SA when I make purchases that they are for me and not for wife. I am heading next to Son a for a bea fitting. Looking forward to my adventure.

[Heather76]

When I first started shopping in stores, I knew everyone looking at me knew I was a cross dresser. Of course, they didn't. Probably my 4th or 5th time shopping, I realized it makes no difference what total strangers may think. I got caught buying a dress several years ago by a co-worker. At work a few days later, she asked how my wife liked the dress I bought her. I do not tell lies well. I came clean and told her the dress was for me as I CD. She is 1 of only 2 people (besides my wife) who know Heather exists. She is supportive and a wonderful person I can talk with about it. Shopping in person is no big deal any longer. I head to the ladies clothing, jewelry, and makeup departments without a 2nd thought. As I've just passed the 4 year anniversary of my CD journey, I've adjusted quite well (I think). It will get easier for you as you move on.

[Fiona_44]

Just focus on what you are doing and don't worry about what others think. The majority of people don't really care anyway.

[OrdinaryAverageGuy]

Regarding online shopping, have you considered getting a PO box to have things shipped to? Even if something is coming Fedex or UPS or Amazon many PO branches have a way of getting them to deliver to the PO, basicly using the PO's street address and unit # for your box number.

[alwayshave]

SophiaRose, my first few times in the woman's section were nerve racking. Write down what you are there for and check it. Makes it easier and keeps you on point.

[Sometimes Steffi]

I like to have a little story in my head to keep me calm in case I get any questions or strange looks.

Here's some of my favorites.

I'm shopping for her. What I keep secret is that the "her" I'm shopping for is Steffi.

I'm surprising her with an evening out, but more than just jeans is required.

It's for me, but not for me.

[Maria 60]

For some reason when I am at home we are very clear headed and when I find myself in front of the pantyhose rack it seems like I’m more concerned about if someone’s watching me. The last time I was buying pantyhose with my wife I picked up the black pantyhose brand I wanted and my wife asked me if I checked the size, in which I didn’t. I guess I get so excited that the brain farts happen to me also.

[Raychel]

When I first started shopping.
I was very nervous and got in and out as quick as possible
so as not to get caught in the ladies department.
Very often I would end up buying something that did not fit,
or was not right in some way or another.

Now after several years, I really dont care who see's me, or what they think.
If there was anyone that would say anything. I would answer them apropriately
for the question they asked.

I take my time and get it right the first time if possible.

Just relax and enjoy

[Debbie Denier]

I don?t care these days . As I sometimes shop for my wife as well as myself. I would prefer to shop at a store than online. Nobody else cares either. A sale is a sale.

[HollyGreene]

I used to buy gifts of underwear for a girlfriend long before I started buying for myself, so I became quite used to being in that part of a store. There's nothing to say you can't be there, and believe me, nobody else cares that you're there.

[DavynaCD]

Yes, happens all the time but it gets easier. Still happens to me even though my confidence is better now. Try going to a thrift shop. If someone looks at you funny, give them a smile, take a deep breath and keep looking at the clothes. Take your time and your confidence will grow. As for online, get it delivered to you at work maybe.

[Lorna]

I am a little surprised that something as innocent as buying hosiery causes anxiety. I remember as a child (probably 10 or 11) buying stockings for my mother as a Christmas gift - no problem at all. I bought nylons for girlfriends - also no problem whether in a clothing shop or a supermsrket. I never had the impression that hosiery was in the "forbidden" category. Yes, bras, girdles - more intimate items - are more worrying to buy as a male but not hosiery.
Since, for myself, I prefer stockings to tights, I made a point in the 80s and 90s of buying fully-fashioned stockings before they disappeared altogether. On a couple of occasions (in department stores) the sales assistant checked thet I was "aware that these are stockings, not tights". The assistants had automatically assumed that I was buying for my wife and, at that time, almost all sales were of tights. I remember replying that "Yes, that's what she wants". I really don't think those assistants suspected they were for me!
I am reminded of something else that reassured me about buying women's clothes - even underwear. I found that the big department stores in London seemed to attract overseas buyers - men and women - who were presumably buying to take back to wherever they came from (usually the middle east, I think). I saw men holding notes (shopping lists?) and filling baskets with quantities of bras, slips, panties and girdles. If they could do it - so could I!