Came out again!

[danniUK]

It's been a year of coming out for me!

Earlier in the year I had a weekend away with my 3 closest friends and had originally planned to come out to all of them. After some sage advice from the other ladies on this forum I didn't, but did come out to one of them (after we'd both had a lot of wine!)

So the plan was to speak to the remaining two friends individually, but it's quite tricky since it's rare that we'd see each other without family being around etc.

Anyway, today I met up with one of them for a theatre trip to London (Dr Strangelove with Steve Coogan playing Peter Sellers' parts - it was brilliant!)
It'd been in the calendar for a while so I'd been looking forward to the trip - seeing my oldest friend and (despite some nerves) coming out to him.

I recently came out to my younger sister so decided to take the same approach. He'd stayed overnight at my place then we took the train up to London this morning. We went for a steak lunch before the show in the afternoon and the restaurant was busy but not so much we couldn't talk.

We both turn 50 next year so the inevitable conversation started... I actually heard a fact last week: you might think of your life in terms of "I've probably only got maybe 30 Christmases left" but when you consider that a typical western lifespan is only 4000 weeks if feels soooo short. So anyway, the conversation was about getting old.

"Do you ever feel like life's too short?" I asked. "Like too short to not actually *be* who you really are, with the people around you that really matter?" Definite agreement on that. "So... the thing is, I generally like to spend a lot of my time looking like this these days, some times it feels more like who I really am." And I showed him my picture on my phone - the one I use on my profile (not my avatar, which is touched-up, but the real picture of me unfiltered)

"What, that... that's not you? That's you?!" My hands were shaking but it was real funny nevertheless.

We didn't talk in massive depth - we had to get our steaks eaten and get to the show - but I couldn't have expected a better response. After the show we talked a bit more and then went our separate ways (he was going directly home rather than back to mine) so after hugs he said he was so glad I told him and that I should get (clothes) shopping tips from his wife.

Im thinking of calling this "The Danni Method" of reveal!

[Fiona_44]

Nice story Danni. Thanks for sharing it with us.

Next week, I'm planning to come out to the very last friend I have who doesn't know about Fiona . I've known him for 40 yrs. and know he will be fine with it. Feels good to finally tell people, doesn't it?

[Maria 60]

That's an amazing story. I never told anyone then my wife and you have more confidence and courage then me. I'm sure you were shaking when showing him the pic because I know I would be. I'm so happy he took it so well and even offered his wife's fashion advice for you. I love reading this.

[JocelynJames]

I like this method, Danni. I?m not saying I?ll use it as I probably won?t reveal to anybody beyond who know( here and my wife). Thanks for the great story though.

[Marketa]

It's great that it worked so well. And that your friends take it this good.

I am still scared to death to come out to even the closest friends.

[bridget thronton]

Glad the reveals continue to go well

[Suzie Petersen]

Good for you, Danni!
I have no desire to tell neighbors, family and friends, but I often wish they just all already know about this. Life woulde certainly be different for me, as I would likely spend quite a bit of my time presenting as a woman, just doing what I otherwise would have been doing.

[NancySue]

The Danni method worked for you. Great. It wouldn?t work for me. I confessed all to my wife prenuptial, fearing the worst, but she basically said no big deal. Living in a small nosey town has made me/us very protective. Discovery would not be good.

[kimdl93]

Glad to hear that its working out for you.

[BLUE ORCHID]

Hi Danni , That was a Story with an Unexpected Ending, Good Luck, >Orchid**OO**

[alwayshave]

Danni, That is great. I'm glad your friend was accepting.

[CarlaWestin]

Be careful.
"What, that... that's not you? That's you?!"
....can be a very addicting response.

Like Suzie, I haven't disclosed to any family or friends except my BFF of over 60 years.
Turns out, he's worn panties exclusively most of his life.

[danniUK]

The Danni method worked for you. Great. It wouldn?t work for me.

Yeah I realise I've been "lucky", with that 1% of doubt you'd have regardless when you tell someone and also that everyone I've told so far I know well enough to be almost certain that I wouldn't get a negative reaction. One thing my friend said on the weekend, talking about our small immediate group of friends, was "you know there's nothing you could tell us that'd make the slightest difference to how we feel?"
Which I kind of knew but still had that 1% so had shakey hands.

I also realise that there's people I know - friends but not of the same calibre (I'm thinking mostly of friends that I've made through work) - who I'm pretty sure would stop talking to me if they knew. Or maybe not, but that 1% is more like 50% with them.

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I often wish they just all already know about this. Life woulde certainly be different for me, as I would likely spend quite a bit of my time presenting as a woman, just doing what I otherwise would have been doing.

That's kind of what I want with my close friends, Suzie. I'd love to have our meetups - just us, away from our families - being myself. Where "myself" is sometimes presenting male and sometimes presenting female.

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Feels good to finally tell people, doesn't it?

It really does, Fiona!