Hi Girls,
I would like to ask if you have similar experiences and to share your thoughts.
After years of intense closet crossdressing I guess I just started to suffer from the gender dysphoria. Was it always present or I just got being aware of it?
I would stay on the feminine side all the time but the moments of the accomplishments are limited due to having a regular male life, wife, family, etc.
I don't want to spoil it. A self-preservation instinct and a common sense prohibit me from doing further steps.
Anyway, the situation is that I am mentally on the female side. No being trully identified with and proud of my masculinity. I just tolerate it because I have to.
I envy female body including curvy hips, breasts and intimate parts. Even if my male body seems to be neutral to me I had always a problem with accepting it fully.
For example, I hate my face and breasts hair. I feel a necessity to shave or remove it all the time and this is always the first thing to do after awaking in the morning.
I started even to disregard and dislike my male part. Ideally, it would be as small as possible or disappear at all.
Even if there is nothing wrong with me - sometimes I have doubts - there is a problem...
I have went thru several gender dysphoria tests on internet and a majority of them seems to suggest a low or moderate level of dysphoria.
Higher levels were not indicated, most probably because I have not declared my willingness for transition.
Sabine
Reply With Quote