[QUOTE=joanne_mi;604451]
What is reported, instead, is disruption; a father who is distant and passive or a father seen by his son as a cold, rigid, powerful, usually an unreachable man who punctuates his distance with moments of all-too-close rage. At times transvestites' fathers, whether distant and passive or distant and angry, introduce rare amounts of tenderness with their sons. And so the boys hunger for their fathers, loving them despairingly and with an almost sexual tinge; that is, with a yearning so intense that there is created an eroticized state of frustration.[/I]
I have a father that I have not talked with in about 17-18 years. So, I would not say all-too-close rage in this case, but rather maybe the hunger of wanting to know him. He sort of disappeared out of my life somewhat early, but as a youngster I did have some kind of relationship with him. I believe, don't know for sure, that my CDing simply came from being influenced by females early in my life. I was basically raised by Mom and Grandmom early on until step-father came around later. By then, it was too late. I was already in mom's closet playing with her pumps and skirts.
Additionally, I think the whole pedal pumping thing came from watching mom and grandmom at a very early age struggle starting their cars because of lack of male influence maybe?? So thats how I became the crossdressing pedalpusher perhaps?? Any ideas are welcomed!!
