Originally Posted by
kittypw GG
I agree with Vanya, how often and how many times must a person tell him that the boundries were important why would they be asked to agree to them????
Every person has a breaking point. Make sure when something is said/done that ups your hurt/resentment meter a notch, you tell him instead of waiting until the gauge is pegged out & you're ready to blow. The average person has to be told something 5 times before it sticks. I imagine under the influence of pink fog it gets harder. Only you know how many times you're willing to tolerate a breach in trust.
...I would be asking myself why in the world he would lie and agree to them if he had no intention of keeping them?...
I think "lie" may be too strong - it's definitely what he did - but I'm willing to give the guys the benefit of the doubt that they get so excited in being able to share what was previously unsharable that they forget you may not be as excited about the dressing as they are. Again, remind them that this is their fantasy you're trying to understand and help make reality, and if they take it too far past today's comfort zone, you'll shut down in self-defense mode.
We recently had a CDing agreement not lived up to and asking three questions seemed to settle the matter to both our satisfaction. "Do you understand why I asked for that agreement?", "Do you think that is reasonable?", & "Do you intend to honor that agreement in the future?" We're now clear and there are no excuses acceptable for breaking that agreement, unless renegotiated.
Folks Let me tell you loud and clear. If you want your SO'S to accept you, you have to be patient and give them the respect of honoring their boundries. ...
