For the non-GG's who are married:

Did you tell your wife prior to getting married about your CD'ing or after? If after, how long after? If you did, what prompted you to tell her?

If you haven't told her, why?

I guess I am just looking for insight into why guys wait to tell their wives and what finally gives them the push to do so.

My husband didn't tell me until we were together 7.5 years. As I told him the other night, I never suspected he was CD'ing, although I did come home to him dressed up 2 weeks before we were to get married and since that day I never trusted him and thought he was possibly gay. I was always paranoid (thinking he was cheating on me) and often blamed myself for his lack of interest in me.

When he finally told me, I tried to be accepting for maybe a few weeks, but then he got a little too self obsessed and what I thought and felt got put on the backburner again. I tried to join online support groups, but unfortunately the attitude of the women were for me to get over myself because he would never change and that if I didn't like it, I needed to divorce him. So that's when I just shut down and flipped out on him. I really felt betrayed that he brought me into this and had been lying all this time. I was mad that he didn't tell me before we were married because I know I would've never married him. Which, obviously, is the most likely reason he never told me.

Anyway, that was 3 years ago that he told me and it was only until 2 weeks before this Christmas that I decided to try for him again. Really, it was my boss he can thank because my boss is gay and told me his story about having to hide his true self and being in denial. It made my heartbreak and that's when I realized that I was doing the same thing to my husband in regards to his CD'ing. So I love my husband and want him to be who he is....although I am quite terrified after reading some of his posts/replies here.

Enough rambling...just looking for your thoughts so I can understand all of this better.