CDing more sexual for MTFs than for FTMs. ( FTM and GG opinions needed)

[melissaK]

OK, a whole bottle of BRILLIANCE last night and I'm just as blond as ever! But I'm in for another :2c:

, I was trying on my mothers stuff almost as soon as I could reach her lingerie drawer...I knew nothing of sex or sexuality, it just felt good.

Yes, I can claim a few distinct similar memories as well; and that "feel good" feeling was soo intense even at ages 4 and 5, that those memories rival later memories of sexual pleasure . . . but it still begs the question of why a difference between mtf and ftm on this in later years.

So, is there a difference in age of onset of tg desires between mtf and ftm? Wherefore art thou Captain? Kieron? Felix? Ftm's full of tales of "knew from an early age"?

'lissa

[Dragster]

Wickedblond, a late response to your post (I'm not here everyday)!

I'm 62, married for 37 of them, and CDing is still sexual to me, mostly. I'm turned on when my wife is receptive to my overtures, though sadly, it happens rarely these days. Knowing I'm CD is a turn-off to her, she says it disgusts her, and that has been a big damper on our sex life. I'm turned on more when I can persuade my wife to wear sexy clothes to bed (or anywhere!), but she does not really like to do this (3 years since the last time). I'm also turned on even more still by the thought of me wearing sexy female clothes when we make love but I'm turned on the most by the thought of us both wearing sexy female clothes in this situation. With her current attitude to my CDing, neither of these situations will arise in the near future, if at all. She's far too important to me to go looking elsewhere to satisfy my "urges", so I take solace in the fact that I'm also turned on when I wear "sexy" female clothes in private, because it's now the major "release" I get these days, and I do need that release. I wish we could talk freely about it, what our sexual needs are, and how we could achieve a compromise which satisfies most of them for us both, but I keep coming up against a brick wall. I'm not going to stop trying from time to time, but not flogging the subject to death either, the rest of our life together is great, and I don't want that to come to an end, until death do us part! I only wish my wife would feel the same "felings" that I feel when SHE was dressed in something "sexy", she might have more motivation to throw her inhibitions to the wind and have some fun with me.

Tony

[ubokvt]

My eperience with dressing is similar to others. My first experiences with dressing occured at 4, 5, 6, I assume this is similar to a great majority. This experience was very exciting and I can remember getting hard. I had no idea about sex, or interest, but I liked the excitment. After puberty, still dressing, that excitement led to the natural outcome, so to speak, and a relief from the excitment. So I can say for me the sexual link came after I had started dressing, however the sexuality aspect seems to highten the excitment. Maybe like addicts we are just chasing a better high.

[CaptLex]

. . . but it still begs the question of why a difference between mtf and ftm on this in later years.

So, is there a difference in age of onset of tg desires between mtf and ftm? Wherefore art thou Captain? Kieron? Felix? Ftm's full of tales of "knew from an early age"?

Yeah, I knew I was TG at an early age (about 4-1/2), but there was no sexual connection with it. Of course, I didn't crossdress at that age because my parents wouldn't have allowed it, but if I could have, I'm sure it would have given me the same feeling it did when I was finally able to crossdress many years later - it just made me feel more "normal".

[Robin Leigh]

Seriously Marla, Captain, Robin, Christina, TV*, WickedBlond, and everyone else, I have enjoyed everyword so far. I think forums of written posts raise semantic limitations wherein one poorly worded sentence can throw each of us off a little from the others intended message, but I think we all have done pretty well with some complex reasoning. Someday it would be fun to chat in person about these esoteric matters - - -

Thanks, Melissa, and everyone else who's joined in!

I love these TG theory threads. If we can't work this stuff out, nobody can. :D But it is very easy to get bogged down in semantics & definitions. So often in these threads, just as we're getting somewhere it gets hard to make further progress, because we're all using slightly different definitions.

Sometimes it is useful to have terms with fuzzy definitions because they cover a lot of territory. But we also need terms that are more sharply defined, too, in order to get to the fine details. The danger is that such sharply defined terms can give people the impression that we are trying to put them into little boxes, which is not at all the aim of the exercise.

There are a variety of different elements which go into making somebody CD/TG/TS, and they can combine in a myriad of ways, producing almost endless gender diversity. I'm interested in identifying all of these elements, and seeing how they combine & interact. I'm also interested in what patterns there are in these elements from one TG person to the next. Which element combinations often occur together, and which combinations rarely occur. And what causes are there behind these clustering effects.

But you're right, these threads are a bit of a strain on the brain!



Robin

[Robin Leigh]

Hi Marla! Sorry about the delay replying. After all this heavy theory, I needed a dressing-up break.

Sometimes I wish the forum automatically used multilevel quoting, like the PMs do...

On male/female symmetry:

That certainly is true, but I have the impression that despite all real existing differences, science discovers more and more similarities by lifting the social norm curtain.

Male & female are similar, yet different. They are complementary to a degree in that there is cooperation between the sexes, but also because of the competition between the sexes that goes on down to the genetic level.

On crossgender identification:

I would see this as a gradual difference, which only becomes fundmental in it's effect. A CD wishes to become or be a girl/boy, the TS has the conviction to be a girl/boy, more or less pronounced through the whole spectrum.

I have to disagree here. Not all who CD wish to become or be a girl/boy, or even pretend to. Many MTFs are attracted to the feminine energy & being dressed in femme things fulfills their masculine desire for feminine contact. It certainly doesn't make them feel feminine. These are the CDs that don't like to be called by feminine names, pronouns, etc.

Of course, some of us may start with the attitude I just described, but over time discover that they do, in fact, have some cross-gender feelings. In fact, I did myself. Maybe it's early denial, maybe it's a result of development of charcteristics that weren't present earlier, maybe a combination.

Both are able to repress this feelings for a while the one more easy than the other. A "typical" TS might even feel repelled by his/her genitals. It seems less likely then to develop the respective sexuality, wheras a CD might wish (dream) to have other genitals but usually develops sex conform behavior.

Agreed, but I think it's more than just a simple scalar grade of intensity. I suspect that there are significant qualitative differences, as well as quantitative ones.

On non-TS FTM CDers:

Some posts by our FTMs in the other thread indicate they do exist, but their advantage (having more dressing options, blending in) is their drawback at the same time (they are not taken serious as CD).
My put on testosterone here would be, besides social factors, that they are less prone to the emulate-the-opposite-gender-approach of CDing (just a guess).

Maybe this is a matter of definition. By my definition, a non-TS FTM CDer doesn't identify as a man, full-time or part time. They identify as a woman who likes to see themselves in masculine things and/or be seen in such things. They may enjoy pretending to be a man, in a playful way, or in order to pass, and they may acknowledge that they enjoy their masculinity.

If a young GG with mild TG propensities got hold of some T, crossdressed and got "erotic", I expect that she would soon get into the same conditioning pattern that many MTFs do. Natural T levels would not normally be sufficient for this to occur (unless there was something seriously intersex going on).

Would be interesting to know, but it shouldn't be tested.

Certainly not! That would fall into the class of what anthropologists call the "Forbidden Experiment". But it wouldn't surprise me if some young sportswomen taking steroids stumbled upon it for themselves...

Robin