I am definitely in Amanda's camp on this one though for a very long time I thought that I had to sacrifice everything for my partner.
I have gone through a process where I have tried everything that I can think of to deal with this internally and in the relationship. I now realize that for me cross dressing is not a selfish act, it is just an expression of who I have always been. It is not something that I can stop, it is something that I can manage.
Similarly, I have a very strong sex drive, so again while I can manage it I cannot stop that either.
Now while I love my partner dearly, I cannot stop being a cross dresser nor can I stop having a sex drive, both things which she has requested of me. At the same time, through several rounds of counselling and much discussion she has continually stuck to these two things as non-negotiable for her.
All this being said, we are in a place that is akin to flogging a dead horse. At some point you realize that no amount of anything will get you to a point where the relationship will serve either of the couples needs. At that place you have to call it quits so that each of you can get on with the life that you need to live. It is sad, it is troublesome, it is painful and it is the adult thing to do.
It is, however, not easy.
Huggs
Melissa
