Thanks for your replies so far, girls. And especially you, Di - it's the female perspective that's so valuable here and the betrayal issue is why I'm considering telling her at all. I know the "wife" threads are plentiful on here so thanks for humouring me.
For the record, she's not the type who will be encouraging and want to join in. I'm 99% certain of this. I'm also almost as certain she wouldn't leave me - we have a great relationship. If/when she finds out, my profile would likely read "wife knows but is not supportive". I've dropped hints in the past and she finally shut me down when I asked about mascara saying she didn't want a crossdresser for a husband. So she has her suspicions and has basically told me where she stands. It hasn't been brought up since.
It would just be nice to be completely honest with her and dress with less guilt. Maybe even start building a wardrobe (which is the selfish reason for telling her).
Thanks again, girls.
