After Michelle's original post I, in part, said:

Quote Originally Posted by Barbara4242 View Post
"Well said, Michelle . . . (y)ou are absolutely right!!! To use the title of a Billy Joey song, "It's a Matter of Trust." IMHO, a marriage is only as strong as the foundation upon which it is built. Build it on lies and deception, and I don't care how smart you are or how careful you hide your secret, your marriage is built on a foundation that is doomed to crumble!!!

And, most people (men and women) that I know, will, when they find out they have been lied to in a major way, will always wonder, "what else has this person been lying about." Trust is broken -- and broken trust is perhaps one of THE most difficult things to rebuild in a relationship!!!
I would like to add one more thing in the context of what I originally said, the plight of "married with children CDs" notwithstanding. No partner in a marriage should make independent adjustments to their partnership without regard for their partner's feelings and needs. If acting appropriately has consequences, so be it. Trust, fidelity, and honesty are essential components of a healthy marriage! Living a lie with one whom you are pledged to give trust, fidelity and honesty is the antithesis of your vows. In every situation, there can be ways to deal with situations like CDing in many, if not most, cases. Living in dishonesty can only cause stress and a lack of intimacy (in the true definition of that word). I am convinced that it is far better to introduce the truth -- and be prepared to go slow for as long as it takes -- than to suffer the consequences of being outed by accidental discovery. True, every person's situation is different, but there are fundamentals that every marriage must contain.