Hmm most interesting.
I sympathise with your confusion and bleak feelings because...well, all humans have that at some time or other and it isn't nice.
But if you could find an outlet for your feelings and mixed gender images you'd probably do extrordinarilly well in a creative field. See, what you have is a unique melding of areas of the brain that most folk don't have joined together. It's like you are able to take a mental trip across a bridge of perception that most people don't have.....YOU'RE SPECIAL!!
If you ever became and artist or clothing designer.....your ideas would be truly amazing.
Can I have a cigarette now? :D
