Kitty, I too am much of what you described as the CDer except - When we were married 41 years ago I pledged to give 90% to my SO and expect only 10% in return. She too behaves the same way, that's how we got to 41 years. The CD issue has come and gone a few times but she just can't be involved with it so I don't make an issue out of it. When you say you love someone it is a lifelong commitment where you want what's best for that person and you want them to be as happy as they can be. I sympathize with all GG's who are "expected" to deal with this because it just isn't possible for some. I sympathize with those CDer's who don't understand how to maintain a true relationship with their SO given their predispostion. It's not about blind acceptance by both and it's not about giving in totally to the wishes of the other. It's a squiggly path to navigate but with mutual love and trust it can be done and both will have a loving relationship with each other.
