Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
I never say, "May I try this on?", I always say, "Where can I try this on?", or, "Where is the dressing room?"
Myself, I usually use the phrase, "I'd like to try this on." I've never been refused. I have been redirected to the mens changerooms on another floor (and no, the changeroom nearby was not marked as being women's). I've been redirected to other women's changerooms on the same floor (that were lesser used). At exactly the same department store as those previous two redirections, I've also been sent right in to the changeroom in the middle of a women's clothing section, and which had women in other stalls.

In one place I was asked by the owner to wait until all the women left (left the store, that is!); the owner's daughter was embarrased by her mother and got me in to a change room while there were still several women trying on things in other changerooms; those other women customers didn't appear to mind even a little. After my purchase, the owner asked me to call ahead and make an appointment to shop after hours in future. When I discussed this with the local cross-dressing den-mother, she said that she was amazed I even got that far, as previously the store-owner had absolutely refused to have anything to do with crossdressers.

In one place (a bra store), I was asked to come back near the end of the day when no women were around. But the last time I went, a different SA sent me to a changeroom without hesitation, and was of considerable assistance in the bra fitting; there were two or three women customers in the changerooms at the same time. A problem for one SA, no hesitation for a different SA at the same store.

Quote Originally Posted by Stephenie S View Post
In any case, don't get discouraged. You have gotten some valuable pointers here. Take them and keep trying. ALL of us who have done this have been successful. Get back on the horse.
I mentioned some minor difficulties above, but those were notable because they are relatively rare in my experience. I've gone into department stores and womens' clothing stores and shoe stores and women's boutiques, completely in drab, and said that I wanted to try some piece of women's clothing on, and have been served without hesitation.

As I related in one of my recent threads "Getting bolder (or stupider)", I've gone in drab (noticable forms, but no wig or makeup) into a women's boutique, taken my time looking through the items, tried them on, and come right out into the main part of the store to show them to the SAs and to all the other customers, with the other customers speaking up to say which of the pieces they thought suited me the best, without the slightest bit of gigling or insincerity (I love that store ) The other customers might never have seen a guy in a dress before, but they helped me just as if it were perfectly normal, just another gal customer. (Did I mention that I love that store? )

I walked into a department store tonight 15 minutes before closing. Did the SA want to know why a guy wanted to buy 5 pairs of women's panties? Nope! What the SA wanted to know was why I don't get a store points card, since she knows that I shop there often enough (in the lingerie department) to accumulate some discounts.

There are two keys to success: to act like you belong, and (more importantly) to know that you do belong.

Look at the merchandise, flip through the racks, feel the fabrics, pull out out things and hold them up to look at them, ask the SAs about the styles of clothes you are looking for -- don't be looking around to see who is watching. If your shopping movements are the same as any other typical customer, then you will not look out of place, and even though people might look over and see that you are a guy, you will immediately drop out of peoples' attention, because you are doing what fits in. Actions in a store speak louder than gender (provided you are dressed in pretty much the same socio-economic class as the other customers.) If you are acting like you have something to hide or like you are ashamed, then people will be more likely to judge you a pervert -- but if you are acting right at home there, then "Oh, he must be a fashion consultant or something, there's lots of men in the fashion industry".

And the easiest way to act like you belong is to know that you belong! It's a store, you're there to buy (or to look as sincerely as anyone else looks), you're a human -- who cares what anyone thinks? If you are afraid of people thinking of you as a crossdresser, then other people are going to pick up on that. When you have accepted yourself as a crossdresser, accepted the fact that crossdressing is part of you, then most SAs will find that they have no problems at all helping you and no problems in finding ways to make the situation work for you.