Hi PJ,
They were wrong and it was not your fault that they turned you down. I have heard a lot of "this store is TG/CD friendly". But it all boils down to the individual SA, the time of day, day of week and phase of the moon when you ask. You were honest in your request and they should have respected that, period. They did not. Taking it to a more senior SA or Store Manager is OK for some people to do, but not all of us are so out of the closet and self-confident. Again it was not in any way shape or form your problem. Yes, it helps to rephrase your question in a more affirmative and direct manner. I assume you are not there yet, and maybe like me, tend to think of the perfect reply or way to ask someone in the most positive manner too early or too late. All I can recommend is that you do not take it personally and just rack it up as another growing experience that hopefully one day you can laugh about. Also if you were wanting to try on panties, that is a no-no everywhere by law for health reasons. Good luck and keep trying.
