either one has an 'inner girl' or you don't. Clothes may help you express to others how you feel inside. Your desires sexually at the core shouldn't be dependent on how you dress at any particular moment.
If your inner girl likes to be with men, (or men in skirts) or girls, or girls in suits, or whatever, then your inner girl wants that particular thing.
If dressing changes that, The only thing that makes sense is that some portion of your conscious self is uncomfortable with or conflicted by same gender attraction. It sounds to me that a person like you describe (and I think it is not uncommon) are either bi-sexual or in fact actually homosexual at their core, and have learned to use dressing as a way of giving themselves permission to act in ways that they don't or cannot acknowledge to themselves.
I would think the first thing to determine is what ones orientation really is. Once that is figured out, It makes sense to think of crossdressing as a fetish component. In other words, If one acknowledges one is gay or bisexual, then it is at least internally consistent to say I and gay or bisexual, and as it pertains to being with men, I find it more fun/comfortable/sexy to be dressed as a girl when I engage sexually with them.
Kind of cart before the horse. Dressing or gender feelings cant cause orientation feelings, but orientation feelings could cause gender questions or interest in dressing.
OK another thought occurred to me about another type of cd'r with these sort of orientation inconsistencies. IN that case I wonder if the urge to add an experience with a man to their resume, if that is from casting about trying to wear/feel/and act like how they perceive a gg would. In these instances what I see between the lines are those that haven't actually followed through, aren't real clear about what it is that they find attractive about men, just kind of want that seal of approval. It just doesn't make sense to me if the interest is almost in the form of adding yet another accessory to ones wardrobe, a man at the elbow, or er wherever.
