Wow, it's not surprising that the uninformed people think all crossdressers are gay. Doing a search of 'crossdressers', will yield a majority of gay/bi/whatever pictures in various sexual acts (not that there's anything wrong with that). Pictures of just plain crossdressers are a small minority of the shots.
I've never understood the association of gay with crossdressing but it is a difficult think to wrap your head around. A gay person is homosexual (according to the dictionary) and a homosexual is (of a person) sexually attracted to people of one's own sex. I would guess that most gay men would not be attracted to a crossdresser especially a very pretty girl. I guess on the other side of that, the crossdresser could be considered gay, if their purpose in getting all dolled up is to attract men. I could see that argument unless of course the crossdresser is transgendered and does not see themselves as male. I can understand how most can be confused... I know I am!
Crossdressers who pass simply aren't newsworthy. Our news cycle is almost completely dependent on showing click bait items. Flaming drag queens and guys in dresses making out with other guys in dresses does get attention. The quiet homebody crossdresser, sedately watching old war movies, MMA events, or the Sci Fi channel isn't news.
Some causes of crossdressing you've probably never even considered: My TG biography at:http://www.crossdressers.com/forums/...=1#post1490560
There's an addendum at post # 82 on that thread, too. It's about a ten minute read.
Why don't we understand our desire to dress, behave and feel like a girl? Because from childhood, boys are told that the worst possible thing we can be, is a sissy. This feeling is so ingrained into our psyche, that we will suppress any thoughts that connect us to being or wanting to be feminine, even to the point of creating separate personalities to assign those female feelings into.
If anyone is basing their opinion simply by the majority of images on the internet, yes, their perspective will be skewed. It's like getting your news from social media. Both the internet and social media present what people post and what people seek out most. As our digital culture matures we are learning it takes more research and introspection to get to ground truth. Those that don't do the work will continue to be misled.
Inside my heart is breaking
My make-up may be flaking
But my smile still stays on
Barbara,
It's true what you said, I also have viewed these sites. I'm just amazed at how good these MtF people look. How womanly. I wonder how they develop such curvy female figures, especially butts. Many posts on here say even with exercise a curvy female butt as shown in these videos can't be developed. So how do they get theirs? They can't and aren't all oriental or Brazilian. There are some sites that just show crossdressers dressed such as Cross Dressing Couples, Male to Female Tansformations. Choose what you like but viewing other sites just might increase your knowledge.
It seems like everything is going to extremes these days. Whether it is politics, or sex, vanilla middle of the road is passe'. So it is happening in the CD"er world also, surprise, surprise!
I like myself, regardless of the packaging that I may come in! It's what is on the inside of the package that counts!
Its really quite simple.
The vast majority of people equate crossdressing with wanting to be a woman. Therefore if you want to be a woman you want to be with a Man. Which in their eyes makes you gay.
Ask anyone who has come out to their spouse what the expected first questions are
1 do you want to be a woman
2 are you Gay
I would say things are getting better its just taking a lot of time and education.
Not my experience. I just googled and binged 'crossdressers' using Firefox (safe search = off) and Chrome (safe search = default) and the majority of photos (98%+) were just plain crossdressers, mostly solo. A lot of short skirts and hosiery and heels and hair, but not one sex act in the first 1000 or so of my results.Originally Posted by Barbara Black
Last edited by Taylor186; 09-29-2018 at 02:13 PM.
Shelly,
I agree with what you said, wonder why the vast majority just can't smarten up and see a male just might look better dressed in female clothes. It's their individual choice. If you see a woman dressed in a dress or guy in pants do you look at them how they are dressed and that determines what kind of sex they are going to have that night....NO....so why crossdressers??????????????????
Sounds like me!!
My son, who is gay, tells me that as far as he is aware crossdressers form only a small minority of the gay community, and the majority of 'men in a dress' looking for a homosexual sex encounter are straight or bi.
Here today, gone tomorrow....
When I finally accepted myself for who I am, I also did a lot of searching for like minded people. And like yourself I found that most sites were dedicated to gay/bi-sexual men, and I agree there is nothing wrong with that but it isn't me. I will admit that I have all censors off when I do searches and I am sure that is part of the reason of my results.
Then I found this site and found that there is a wide spectrum of people here and I really enjoy it. I am glad I didn't give up right away because it took me a couple of days to find this site.
I think what word combinations you input governs what images will pop up. Yes, even inputting the most vanilla word combinations will have some porn images in the mix. As an experiment I just inputted with "Google Images" "pretty crossdressers" and then "mature crossdressers." "Pretty crossdressers brought up some lovely 100% passable young women. Not one porn image in the bunch scrolling the first page. "Mature crossdressers" brought up older, but nowhere near my age, crossdressers with a good dose of porn images. Trying "elderly crossdressers" brought up some aging crossdressers, but, also some images of ladies who, if I called them elderly, would due violence upon my body.
Under "elderly crossdressers" there was a picture from 2000 of Donald Trump and Mayor "Rudia" Giuliani in drag. He qualifies as "elderly."
Unfortunately, if a wife hit with the news that her husband is a cross dresser goes to the internet, she may be somewhat shocked with search results. Lead her to this site.
It’s the Internet! Do a search for “kitchen appliances” and half your results will be porn.
Barbara,
People visiting those sites know what they're looking for , the ones that come on them by mistake soon move on .
Don't forget there is big money earned by some of those people and little or nothing at all from genuine CDers .
Now I'm out and about very few if any give being gay a second thought , OK it's not a crime and I don't have a problem with it but it's not a question I've ever been asked and it's something I don't feel obliged to drop in the conversation . The basic question is why we dress but most just accept what is in front of them .
The odd thing about being out openly dressed is more women have found the need to hug me , so do they feel safer thinking I might be gay or do they just comfortable enough seeing me as a woman they can be friends with ?
Last edited by Teresa; 09-29-2018 at 10:21 AM.
Exactly what Shelly said has been what I have seen to be the case.
Makes you wonder if the majority of folks link crossdressing with being gay, why is there such a fear of us perving on women in the washrooms......... It is as if women washroom doors are magical portals to making us straight all of a sudden
Last edited by Princess Chantal; 09-29-2018 at 10:32 AM.
Ummmm Girls.... the Googles know a lot about our preferences! Probably more than they should but that is their business and that's what we signed up for when we use their service. I just searched "crossdressers" with Google, Bing and Yahoo and all the results were the same... just a bunch of pretty well dressed girls. Interestingly Bing tells me that my SafeSearch option is set to moderate and gave me the option to turn SafeSearch off to see adult content. I did't try because I don't want the Bing people thinking I'm some kind of pervert - not that there is anything wrong with adult content. Anyway we are all probably getting different results because of either our "SafeSearch" settings or browsing history.
It would be interesting if the girls that got adult content cleared their browsing history, cache, etc. otherwise reset your browser or try a different browser and do the same search to see what your results are. Another option would be to do the search in incognito mode, that should do the same thing.
I did some more research on crossdressers as it relates to adult content (shhhh...incognito). On most of the popular porn sites that have their content categorized straight, gay and transgendered, most have crossdresser listed as a subcategory under gay. I would have thought crossdresser would be listed under transgender but transgender apparently is reserved for girls that are on hormones, had surgery or otherwise have done something besides hair, clothing and makeup to help with their feminine appearance. They all seem to still have their male bits.
Oh well! Not sure what that says about the Gay Majority...
Can we say [I]sensitive topic?[I]
A lot of y'all can't understand why men who dress completely as women are though of as gay? Seriously? To me, it's the most logical conclusion. And, yes, I know the difference.
I think a lot of crossdressers who so distance themselves from being gay do so in part (or in total) because they have turf to protect. They want to have a relationship with or be married to a woman, and they do everything they can do to downplay that there is absolutely no correlation between dressing up and even thinking about sex with a man. Even if they admit to wanting to have sex "as a woman", it's not with a man, but with a woman as a lesbian. BTDT.
I feel an undercurrent even on here that there's something wrong with being gay, and if you're married t a woman, there probably is. If you're not married, I'm finally coming around in my own life/mind to feeling that a man (cd or not) being with another man is an equal alternative to a man being with a woman. As much as I tried/claimed to be non-judgmental about that, up until pretty recently I wasn't really. I have completely come around to where I think if an unmarried male has even the slightest curiosity about it, especially as a teenager, they absolutely should act on it. I think the predominant thought before was probably to squash it and move on with the more socially acceptable path. I feel very strongly that that is absolutely wrong! Particularly in the times we live in today. If it goes unexplored, someone may miss out on something way more important so much of a larger part of their life than that little twinge of curiosity indicated. They may also find out conclusively that it's not for them. It's a win either way.
I think in this resistance to classifying ourselves as gay, we start slicing it so thin that we can manipulate this curiosity or impulse to where we convince ourselves that this attraction to somebody with a penis is not gay. Haven't actually done anything, only when dressed, only with another crossdresser, only with a really hot crossdresser, I'm sure there are other little thin slices that some use to run from the gay tag.
One thing that happened after my divorce was I found out that not everybody has or even desires the straight, suburban, married, kids, corporate ladder climbing lifestyle that I was programmed by southern U.S. society to pursue. I found out people are more varied than I ever knew. I'd led a sheltered life without really realizing it. I've experienced a lot of things since then, and I'm much more aware and accepting of people and consequently of myself. I have no hangups anymore about men being with men, women with women, crossdressers with crossdressers, or whatever combination you want to come up with. Thank goodness I came to realize that the very best people can be straight, gay, bi or whatever sexual tag I may not have heard of yet, and that a man can legitimately fall in love with another man, and that gay doesn't mean cruising public restrooms.
I'm sure most of you will disagree with me on there even being the slightest connection between crossdressing and being gay, but I bet if y'all would lighten up about it and be completely honest and forthcoming, there are a lot more of you out there who would admit to fantasizing about it, dreaming about it, being tempted by it, and would damn well act on it given the right circumstances. As far as gay guys being attracted to us, we can't even talk about it without stereotyping gay men, and if you're not one, how would you know? I think there are "straight" guys who certainly run from the gay tag, too, but would do a good looking crossdresser in a heartbeat. Given all the slicing that I talked about earlier, that could easily happen and neither one of them consider themselves gay!
To be honest, I never seen such crossdressers that are this stuck up about what the majority thinks, unless they have something to hide or defend. So, I'm going to have to agree with Rhonda Jean.
I've seen so called straight crossdressers comment other crossdressers on their acceptance like they see hot women in the picture, knowing that they are men. So, I'm mystified by that. I'm just going to conclude that their sexuality isn't black nor white.
Last edited by Lygophilia; 09-29-2018 at 11:12 AM.
Hello Barbara,
Your post and the other replies are quite illuminating - I searched for "pretty crossdresser", "lesbian", "gay" and got no porn links - but "crossdresser" did.
That is the choice of the search engines I suppose.
But just because some crossdressers choose to do soft or hard porn does not mean that they gay.
luv J
Hi Rhonda Jean,
I don't think you described a bi-sexual person and not gay. I believe gay people mostly homosexual men are attracted to men and men only! At least most gay men that I know would never even think of being married and have no use for women at all romantically or sexually.
Barbara, when I suddenly began dressing in my 50's, not knowing a thing about CD's I assumed I had suddenly turned gay!
Often vanillas will assume I dress because I'm gay. Now that I understand, I could spent hours discussing dressers with folks like some of u do. But, I have neither the time or interest in doing that. After all, I'm a CD, not TS! And, I don't "represent" anyone but me!
Does it bother me if folks think I'm gay? Why would it? Only when guys hit on me do I feel the need to explain I'm straight!
U can't keep doing the same things over and over and expect to enjoy life to the max. When u try new things, even if they r out of your comfort zone, u may experience new excitement and growth that u never expected.
Challenge yourself and pursue your passions! When your life clock runs out, you'll have few or NO REGRETS!
Rhonda/Lygophilia,
To some it truly doesn't register , I'm not hiding or misleading anyone my mindset is totally orientated towards women no matter how I'm dressed . A male to male relationship doesn't register with me , it doesn't mean I don't like men for company but prefer the company of women .
The prospect doesn't scare me because I'm never going to experience it, I neither need to or want to and that's being honest no BS .
Last edited by Teresa; 09-29-2018 at 04:20 PM.
I can actually see why people think of crossdressers as gay. There seem to be a lot of male homosexuals who are camp. Why men who wish to attract other men adopt faux female behaviour is less than obvious, but they do, and cross-dressing is probably seen as an extension of this, especially when men dressed as women talk to each other in high voices, using extravagant gestures, and address each other using endearments. When people use these terms on here it makes me uneasy.
When I go out dressed I prefer to interact only with women. As I go mainly to clothes shops and hotels and restaurants this is easily achieved.
Teresa,
I believe you. Not that anybody has to prove anything on here. I just think there's a lot of fluff on here about it being such a disassociated concept. I'm sure I said the exact same thing back when I was married.
Susan,
I like that on here we can use those endearments and tell others that they're pretty, or hot, or whatever term. I don't even necessarily think that only those who are gay use those terms, or sexy poses, or whatever. I think it's good to have a place where "men" can say those things about each other without most on here thinking much about it, even if they do think it's "gay" to do it. I hope we get to where we don't worry about people thinking we're gay. Mainstream guys are so hung up on things "looking gay" that in some circles not being covered with sweat and dirt is considered sissy.
I think the fear of someone thinking we're gay keeps a lot of us at home, or it keeps some of us from doing little thing in male mode that we'd really like to do. There's a big sense of freedom when you quit worrying about that.
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