I like thinking of crossdressing as rather well explained when I see it as negotiation for some level of acceptance for participation in the feminine.
We are negotiating with various groups via representative individuals, with the goal of generalizing our win. The groups are the general public, members of this forum, our SOs. family, friends, work mates, corporate policymakers, local crazies, and our own inner critics. All of these partners are subject to all sorts of influences, so their position changes even while we are negotiating- hence the difficulty we find in feeling we have succeeded.
By way of example, my starting position is that I am a mirl, and I am essentially bidding for signs of agreement from each party that my version of mirl is accepted as legitimate, and welcomed to be part of society with friendly inclusiveness. Secondarily I am negotiating to be seen as attractive to at least some people. My negotiation is rarely with words [except here], and is done with visual clues from dress, grooming, body language, and visible actions.
Using this metaphor, the diversity of CD presentation is specifically understood as representing the diversity and level of detail with which a CD sees the target feminine identity.
Hobby dressers are negotiating with the position that dressing is about the clothes and grooming, rather than deep identity. Those with gender issues will try to portray heir version of acceptability, up to social transition. TS folks will offer up a sex change to strengthen and clinch their argument.
The benefit of seeing it this way is that everyone is right- we are all guided by internal views of our gender and a target appearance as the correct image of our identity. And that everyone opposing us is also negotiating- with ignoring us, threats, or argument. People helping us are agreeing to provide acceptance in the world they represent, to lighten our load. But they can only negotiate for one slice of life.
One could also say that crossdressing is not a useful or successful technique in negotiating for feminine identity. This would be true for any parts of that identity that are not comprised of clothing norms. It is interesting to look at what, in the absence of clothes, makes a person eligible to be called a 'woman', or feminine, and then work back up to the way we attach and conflate clothing which is designed for that woman.
Using this model, how would you say your negotiation goal? Here are two prompts:
1. "I crossdress as a way to gain ..[what feeling or status] .. from .....[who].
2. "I style myself to explain the following about me to onlookers ...... "