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I have a couple of other hobbies that I've actually made spreadsheets of my collection. They help me keep track of where I spent all that money!
My lingerie isn't catalogued, nor do I brag about it. I don't even know what brands I'm wearing. I do know that my lingerie is attractive, sexy, and feels fabulous on my body even if it is all pretty tight. That's my fetish, and I truly love it!
Well said.Quote:
Originally Posted by bimini1
I think we have gotten off topic. This was/is more about the writing about underthings people wear. Not so much the fetish as the need to wax poetic and almost soft porn or erotic litaricure that lands on this pages.
Ya got a fetish. Great! Good for you. Everybody needs something. I have mine to.
But we as a community wrote about it. Then turn around and say it's not a fetish. Could've fooled me.
Natasha, this 'community' reluctance to admit when it's a 'fetish' when clearly the writing is on the wall (or the forum!) almost destroyed my marriage! For years my H denied what I knew at the pit of my stomach, denied over and over again despite me begging for real communication, finally culminating in me threatening divorce and he sitting down and admitting what dressing means to him. Yes, it's sexual and he was ashamed.
That's incredibly sad in my mind, and I know he had been 'advised' by others at forums he'd apparently frequented to play down the sexual aspect. But we wives, we just want honesty. I'd say society as a whole wants that, too, so there's little to gain by calling it one thing while behaving another.
I think this 'community' crossdressing idea is dangerous. You're all too different and your reasons for dressing too unique to box each other in like this. Many days I read here and women's clothing seems the only thing you all have in common. Surely this alone speaks volumes that there is no right or wrong way to crossdress? There's just men dressing like women for as many reasons as there are stars.
Tink's two cents...worth about half here these days, lol :)
Tinkerbell please don't underestimate your contribution, we may not all agree with you but your comments are worth far more than that !!
Actually, I have. Many times. It made me grin because I have my opinions on some of the brands and styles they were discussing but it's not like I could join in.Quote:
Originally Posted by 2B Natasha
~Mel
People who have made it theie business to study cross dressing say that fetishism is involved. They even call it transvestite fetishism. It certainly fits me despite all of the other "drivers" including feeling less stressed.
I think Natasha has a point as we do love to share all sorts of details about clothing including how it feels and looks as in slippery and shimmery.
That said, I say "so what!". Its what we like to do and what we like to talk about.
Natasha - I think a lot of folk here would agree with you... and looking back through the posts here only a couple have specifically said it's not a fetish, me being one, and I readily admit that it used to be that way for me... (but I don't think I've ever eroticised any of my posts... not here, anyway... ;)) but I take your point and would agree with you that there is sometimes a degree of gratuitousness about the level of... inappropriate detail, let's say.. ;)
Some folk are a bit more exhibitionist than others... that's also the nature of an open forum... I would remind everyone that if they believe the rules have been breached, any one of you can report a thread or post if it's straying into space it shouldn't (Bottom left of every post - the warning triangle/exclamation mark activates the Bat Signal in the Moderators Cave :D) and y'all know, we do take action...
But we do also need the latitude to discuss gender, sexuality, and aspects of fetishistic stuff - I don't think it would be real life if we couldn't or didn't do that... I get what you're highlighting is also the slight tinge of hypocrisy that comes through sometimes...? But that's people too - raging hypocrites on the whole... we respond to what makes us tick, who we affiliate with, who we relate to and our self-interest...
At least you can have a safe and comfy rant here and feel better for it too... :cheer:
Katey x
What is one to wear.....male underwear?
I can only speak for myself but..... wearing female underwear (no matter what I wear over it) is the first step in dressing female.
It's the foundation of any female dressing . So. why shouldn't it it be relished?
Also, personally I have had females tell me that they prefer one article of underwear/stockings over another simply because of the way it feels and makes them feel more feminine....and they are constantly reminded of what they are wearing under their outer clothes.
All the lace and silky feminine underwear that is not meant to be seen is for the benefit of the wearer. GGs enjoy wearing feminine undies also. All the feminine undies/lingerie that we wear are meant for GG who love them. Why shouldn't we?
Don't most males dress to feel more masculine?
Could the average male feel his most masculine wearing panties?
BTW, I one met a CD (at a CD gathering) who told me that they always wore male underwear under all their female clothes as panties made them feel too feminine
Well.... yeah...... that is exactly the point! :)
I giggled quite a bit as several groups of my lady friends have on a number of occasions....it usually comes up if someone happens to be wearing satin that day lol.Quote:
Originally Posted by 2B Natasha
Anyway...so the point of explaining how it's not some sort of fetish...It reminds me in a way how some BDSM and other kink-centered subcultures (even some geeky) spend a massive amount of political capital trying ever so much to stamp out the fetish stamp boogeyman amongst each other repeating the mantras: "It's a lifestyle!" "It's nonsexual in anyway!" I know an individual in a kink-centered one who spends much of his time trying to distance himself from the people that do going so far to say he is oppressed by the sexual kinksters.
The sort of infighting and trying to successfully stamp it out is frustrating to me as it's entirely useless. If there's some social conservative out there giving someone like us the third degree I doubt saying it's nonsexual is somehow going to make any of that better. As far as partner's and friends are concerned, if I say "It's this to me" and give rather nuanced explanations, then it should be enough. People that have the patience and time to understand will understand what it is too you. It's the greater society having a lack of it is the problem to me. But there's nothing much there I can do about it to effectively combat that. In the end, I wonder how much of it matters as it will be sexual, non sexual, and slightly non sexual for some.
In summary, whoop de do if is for some, isn't for others, or somewhere in between.
The simple answer is that I can say it's not a fetish, because it isn't. Not for me. There are people for whom it is a fetish. These people tend to talk more about their sexual responses to dressing than the color of their underwear. There are threads about underwear that are purely technical, like how to put on pantyhose without ripping them. I happily participate in these threads, because these are things that every girl needs to know. Most other underwear threads are not interesting to me, so I skip them. I'm much more interested in threads about interacting with the general public as a woman, because that's what makes crossdressing interesting to me.
no sometimes a cigar is just a cigarQuote:
Originally Posted by me
Do NOT make me hurt you :heehee:Quote:
Originally Posted by Kate Simmons
One thing you need to understand here, there are a group who like to discuss underwear, or stockings, or shoes. The majority may join in from time to time, but the fetish isn't the big group here
I always like to point out one thing about fetish dressers. Up until last year, I never fully dressed. I was into panties and stockings. It was highly sexual, and when I was done, I took em off immediately. That's it. Lot so' people on the forum swore I was just a fetish dresser.
And yet here I am now, a year into transition.
Your current CD behavior is not a predictor of anything.
I'm with you Doc. It's absolutely a fetish for me.Quote:
Unfortunately, Natasha, u have stumbled upon one of my pet peeves.
Even more unfortunately, I've had my evening glass of wine!
Ever since I first arrived here about 7 years ago, I suffered the slings and arrows of being a "fetish dresser" simply because looking like a female excites me.
Thru the years I have also suffered thru the countless "pantie" threads that r posted here. Panties not being one of my fetishes, I don't take part in them.
Why would ANYONE be so interested in clothing no one ever sees unless it arouses them? And yet, I'm the "fetish dresser"?
Also -
This is the MtF discussion page of crossdressers.com. Thats right, crossdressers.com. For MtF crossdressers, underwear is a cause of a great deal of discussion and long and abiding interest. Complaining about underwear postings on a crossdressers discussion forum is a bit like complaining that people on a car forum seem obsessed with gasoline.
I for one have participated in and started many threads over the years on underthings and what to stuff them with to look my best. My best always includes hosiery, heels and a dress or skirt for otherwise I wouldn't feel like I was crossdressing.
Best,
SS / Ms. Wedge. Check me out on facebook- Richelle Wedge
I never really felt the need to wear women's underwear, not an under-dresser I guess, so I guess I really do not know. I guess a stuffed bra is as far as I go, but that's it for me.
So it looks like this thread, which began as a complaint about the obsessive way that some members discuss their panties, has become a survey. OK. I wear panties (at night) and shapewear during the day because I feel comfortable wearing them. I do also wear some men's compression long athletic underwear, especially when I exercise, which I also find comfortable. I wear women's very short shorts on top of them. Is this fetishistic? I doubt it. None of it turns me on but the underwear makes me happy. It makes me smile. I like putting it on. I like the way it feels. I cannot say the same of any normal men's underwear I ever wore. Liking my underpants was a completely foreign idea to me. I haven't liked clothes as much as I do now since I was a teenager. It isn't sexual. It is the sheer enjoyment of wearing something that feels good, looks good, flatters my body and helps to make me feel comfortable with my gender. What is not to like? I am delighted after all those years of not really caring what I wore I now am really interested in the way I look when I see myself in the mirror. I think it is a sign of good mental health!
That may be true on a very superficial level but IRL, the reality is that it take more than this thing of ours to nurture and cultivate a true friendship. I have been blessed to have met and become friends with some of the most amazing people who I may not have met otherwise. But our friendships go well beyond the trans. We don't sit around and talk about our undies. In fact, I'd be surprised if trans-related conversation has exceeded 20% and that would be a generous estimate.Quote:
Originally Posted by Tinkerbell-GG
It's odd isn't it ? That this can grow from simply trying something on and then we add to it and what was once simple can no longer be complete ( for the fetisher not all cders are this way)..You are not satisfied anymore by just under dressing and all of the earlier phases no longer do nothing for you ..So the additions such as cosmetics have became a must, this cding is like cancer it really can consume you ..Quote:
Originally Posted by bimini1
Nope, today I bought two pairs of Maidenform "Flexies" panties and let me tell you that the way they grab and press my "package" I don't think I'll need a tuck in the size 12 Liz Claiborne poweder blue shift I also bought today....really.BTW...god bless Value Village! the fabric is so super sexy but the big kicker is that just about anyone who discovered my new skin-tone Maidenforms would have a genuine xxit -fit is somehow titillating and therefore...fetishist.
May it ever be so!
There's a river in Egypt some of u r sailing on. If wearing panties is exciting or makes u feel fem, it MAY be a fetish. Just look in the mirror and tell yourself, "---they feel more comfy, etc., is the only reason I wear them". But, don't try to convince me.:brolleyes:Quote:
Originally Posted by Barbara Jo
I tried women's panties on when I first began dressing when EVERYTHING turned me on. I found them hot, uncomfortable, and they promote fall out. The ONLY reason I have ever worn them is because they hold my tuck. My comfy, cool, tidy whities can't do that job or I'd wear them every time I dress. From time to time, nylons, heels, skirts, prosthesis, pads, and forms, etc. have turned me on. Because those items make me LOOK and occasionally FEEL fem. Tite panties only accentuate the feel of my male part. That's NOT fem, only necessary to complete my look. Period. :straightface:
That is SO TRUE, Lucy! There was a time long ago when I found just nylons, then underdressing, exciting. Didn't last long, tho. My first silicone breast forms turned me on for quite some time. Then, my prosthesis. But, now? It's become all or nothing. Sigh!:sad:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lucy_Bella
If someone identifies with being a baby, I'd say they may then have that as their identity, not their fetish. Same holds for CDs et al.
I guess some people are afraid of the word fetish, eh? :idontknow:Quote:
Originally Posted by 2B Natasha
If you worship your femme clothes, over or under, you are engaged in fetishistic behavior, the same way a man who worships bacon, or a motorcycle, or certain female body parts is engaged in fetishistic behavior. In our case, the objects of veneration, objects that possess magical powers, are largely hidden from view, lest they be seen by non-believers…
:praying:
In my case, it is guilty as charged!!!
It really depends upon what definition of fetish you're using. Most people consider it a sexualized term, an item or a piece of clothing that a person needs for sexual excitement. So if that's what you're using, there are a huge number of us who don't connect being dressed as female as something distinctly for sexual reasons.
I'm not sure I understand why describing the brands, colors, and other properties of clothing is a fetish. If I see a look that I really like or an article of clothing (such as pantyhose or tights), I would want to know where that person got it. Knowing brands of underwear could also help others find something that fits them better. It may not necessarily be a fetish, just girls trying to help others out. Sure, there may be an erotic trigger to it for people but it can also be very informative.