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I have shown photos to a few women, and appeared before a former landlady friend , once, in black high heels, hose and a black dress and wig. All said i had great legs like a woman! Like Nicole said, though, and katey alluded to, I can use lots of accessories to make myself look smashing, and dress better than most GG's, and even look better than many... for a very SHORT TIME. Then, back to nyet!
Remember that you have many natural advantages over your male friend. If you think his lingerie is better, borrow it. I'm sure you will look very very good and he will be the jealous one.
Most TG people pay a lot of attention to their looks and put considerable effort into clothes and makeup. Any GG who spends an hour on her makeup will look considerably better too. However, GGs have nothing to prove and no worries about blending or passing.
So, by comparison, a TG person might be more attractive in some way or other than a GG, but the looks-to-effort ratio is firmly on the GGs' side.
Dont worry about something that much for something such as looks. It is something subjective, and you can't be attractive to everybody or unattractive for the same reason.
So looking better... looking better to who?. Because for some, your friend might be more attractive, and for others, you will be more attractive.
As long as one is satisfied with how one looks to oneself, its all good.
By the way for some people TGs are more attractive for the very fact of being TG, I just wanted to remind this... because its very relative.
Looking better than what? I think it's a question of taste. I've heard some men say, for example, they don't like women with lots of makeup, elaborate hairdos, and clothing they might consider too fussy, or too establishment-looking, or whatever else their tastes might be. So to them, the approachable girl-next-door look is preferable (jeans, fresh looking skin, clear eyes). A lot of people look past the clothes at the woman who is inside them. I've even heard (or read) some men say their ideal sexy woman is one who is fresh out of the shower with still dewey skin, wet hair, and naked.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eryn
It's like a child who discusses his preferences for vegetables. He might say, "carrots are better than broccoli", when he really means, "I like carrots more than I like broccoli". Someone else might prefer broccoli and one is not better than the other.
I dunno ... I think that because CDs/TGs are particularly into the makeup and women's fashions, they think that women who don't adorn themselves with these things look "worse" than those who do?
There are also just too many variables to this. A woman with a fantastic body will look "better" to many men than one who is 70 years old and shriveled from a lifetime of sun exposure, even if the former is in a beat-up pair of jeans and the latter is wearing a Chanel suit and Jimmy Choo shoes ... unless maybe he is an 80 year old man who prefers women in his own age group. :)
I realize that's a bit of bait, but why not...
There is a multi-billion dollar industry based upon the premise that woman + cosmetics = better looking woman.
Judging from what I see in public, women in social situations tend to wear cosmetics. The fancier the occasion, the more elaborate the cosmetics become. Men may say they prefer women wearing less cosmetics, but by their actions many women seem to disagree.
Now, from the perspective of someone who goes out often, I fully understand why GGs don't want to do the makeup thing all the time. I consider it a chore and most of the time I'm going out with only lipstick on my face. Electrolysis has taken care of the beard issue. For special occasions I wear quite a lot more makeup. I see very few bare-faced women at the opera, nightclubs, etc.
So, if you think that a totally bare face is preferable to one with makeup, that's fine, but that doesn't seem to be the way most people of either gender consider it.
Thanks again for all of your responses.
Although, as I read over my initial post and as I think more about it, I'm not sure if I should have used the word "jealous"...maybe "disconcerting" would have been a better word.
I also should point out that I'm sure there are many GG's who do not feel like I do, but I do consider myself to be a pretty normal, middle-aged women. That being said, I also consider myself to be more self-analytical than most people and my friendship/relationship with my friend has made me think about things that I have never had to think about before. A for-instance would be...if I wear panties and a bra that are a deep purple color, my new friend will say, "Oh my God - I LOVE that color and they're beautiful, etc. and of course tell me that I look beautiful as well" but my ex would just say that they look sexy...my ex would not care in the least bit if the color was drab green, or polka dots, or muddy brown. So, for me, I feel a bit more pressure to buy/wear stuff that meets his approval (such as color, a certain kind of lace, the feel of the fabric, etc.) because I know that he thinks a lot about that stuff - certainly more than I do). I also know that he keeps himself a certain size/shape so that he looks a certain way in his lingerie - so I do look at his long, thin legs and I'm not jealous of them, but it triggers a very subtle emotion that is hard to pinpoint... He may look like a man in lingerie, but I can't wear the long, flowing Olga nightgown...my short legs and my extra few pounds would make it look worse on me than on him, and I'm the woman.
So, I do think that a wife or partner of a CDer could have a lot of mixed feelings that aren't just simply that they don't approve of what you do - there just may be more layers involved and if she's a middle-aged woman that is a bit over-weight and you are wearing clothes that she can't wear, it may trigger feelings that she would never admit to having.
I have a ways to go before I meet my friend and I'm sure that I'll tell him I how I feel and we'll talk about it, but I just thought I'd share on this forum how this GG feels.
Lisa, my SO has expressed some envy over my legs compared to hers, but it's because mine have greater muscle definition, so although we both exercise at about the same level, it looks like I have done more. It's not, in my opinion, that my legs look better, it's that they show something that she would prefer hers to show more of. Of course, I think hers look better!
You say you're more self analytical? Or do you mean more self critical? I know I used to be very bad for that, it's a hard thing to shake. I would suggest you try to put it out of your head, in as far as worrying about his responses, just deal with them as they come up.
Hi Underdresser, you may be right about it being more "self-critical" than "self-analytical".
I guess the more that I'm getting to know my friend, the more I'm realizing his love for everything "woman" - more so than the average man who is not a CDer, and it's making me more and more nervous because even though people, including him, say I'm almost one in a million because I accept this, I just am worried that I won't live up to his expectations of being woman enough for him. I'm not sure if that makes sense, but it's how I'm beginning to feel.
Thanks for your input! :)
Hi Lisa i really do not think you should worry or try to live up to anyone's expectations .Just try to be you and feel compfortable with who you are .Us cders and im not saying all of us but a lot of us want that acceptance that we look good or better than the average women or at least pass . It helps our ego's i guess it makes us feel good about ourselfs just like a women buying a new dress and trying to look perfect in it for their boyfriend or husband .We all want to look great :)
Confidence is what is really sexy. Knowing you are sexy, and owning it is key. If you feel concerned you need to do something to feel sexy. Because each person should feel happy about themselves. Do boudoir, or a pole dance class. I love luca, but I am the hotter one. ;)
Yes, they do care more about the clothing itself than other men which is sometimes difficult for newly involved GGs to get used to (I was also surprised and sometimes disconcerted), but over time I was able to see that my SO did and does indeed find me attractive. And I'm guessing that my SO is pretty average.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa9099
Don't wear the Olga nightgowns! Wear things that suit YOUR body, and you will look wonderful to him in them! Google Curvy Girl Inc, a website for women with curves and believe me, many CDers would die to have those curves.Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa9099
We absolutely do. If I sounded a bit flippant in my first post I apologize. I guess I momentarily forgot the emotional yo-yo I was on in the beginning too, when I noticed that my SO didn't react to me as a woman the same way that my ex did. But, it did all fall into place eventually and if the two of you end up clicking, it will fall into place for you as well. You should think about joining our private F.A.B. section (female at birth).Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa9099
Please believe me when I say that your friend would love to have the assets that you have. :hugs:Quote:
Originally Posted by Lisa9099
Yes, I hear you ... and many other members here have shared similar sentiments in the past. My issue is, there's a disconnect between what I hear you and others say, and the reality I see portrayed around me which is that for the most part, women wear no makeup, or very little (almost imperceptibly)! Yes we might put a little on if it's a special occasion, and certainly younger women (between ages 16-24) might go through a phase of wearing it more, but I just don't see it in the dozens and dozens of women that I run into every day at work, at the mall, at the grocery store, etc.Quote:
Originally Posted by Eryn
It's not just me ...Quote:
Originally Posted by Eryn
So, I did a little research. The cosmetics industry is indeed large: $56.6 billion in sales annually in the US.
BUT ... a whopping 83.4% of the sales are for things that we do not see (and also that men and kids use)! Facial care (facial wash, sunscreen lotions, moisturizers, after-shave lotions) and haircare (shampoos, conditioners) alone account for 58.2% ($33 Billion) of total sales. The other things we don't see are toiletries, deodorants, oral care, and perfumes which account for another 25.2% ($14 Billion), leaving a paltry 16.6% ($9 Billion) for cosmetics. This works out to an average of $75 spent on cosmetics per adult woman per year, which is barely a bottle of foundation and mascara, not counting the unused portions that get thrown away when buying new ones. I don't even know why they call it the cosmetics industry. They should call it personal care.
http://www.statisticbrain.com/cosmet...ry-statistics/
Lisa,
We want to look as beautiful as you if possible, and believe me, sometimes we go alot further to try to. We are not out to show you up, at all! We love you! Want to be just like you, just remember that. Nothing to feel insecure about. And nothing to feel jealous about either. Ladies, please join us, help us, we just want to look beautiful like you!
Hugs,
Bree :)
I often think my ex-wife was jealous of me as I could fit into size 12 and 14 jeans and skirts and size 18 dresses and tops, I also heard her tell my sister that I had a body that looked more female than male. My ex couldn't find a pair of jeans big enough to fit her and size 26 dresses were a tight fit.
Hey Lisa,
I'll bet your friend is just happy to have found someone accepting and open minded enough to discuss dressing. In the end, we all simply want to look our best for each other and I'm sure you have a lot to offer (being here confirms that.) Likewise, over time and as relationships develop outer beauty is trumped by inner beauty.
On the lighter side: I never worry about being complimented as better than a GG regarding looks or style. The day the world changes and suddenly Aardvarks start getting admired as "occasionally better looking than a GG" then perhaps I'll stand a chance. Until then I have no hope and am no threat to GG's anywhere.
I think this captures the misperceptions well. I'm a male athlete. I'm in better shape than my wife. That's just reality. But there is no way in hell that she would want any part of my shape. She would, however, like to be slimmer but she'd never work on her fitness as hard as I do so on rare occasions she'll make a comment about me "looking better in a skirt" than she does. Clearly what she means is what Reine pointed out.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Well Lisa I think I do okay but I am never going to look better than my wife. Regardless, don't let insecurity stop you from meeting this person if she is genuine and nice. Most cd's adore women who are open to us.
Lisa, do yourself a favor and buy that expensive bra and panty set. And let her help you choose it. Unlike most males who just want to see you in it, (s)he will enjoy (obsess over) helping you pick out something elegant, and waiting to see you in it will drive her wild with anticipation. The most beautiful european lingerie is available in all sizes and likely she buys in those lines because of band size. Look at Primadonna, Conturelle, Empreinte, Eprise de Lise Charmel. I buy nice sets because it makes me feel like I love myself, and her reasons may be similar. I think the investment will make you feel confident and elegant. It will definitely make you more desirable to her regardless of whether you show them off. Beauty is definitely not about dress size. I recently had (have?) a crush on a woman who is completely amazing and elegant, and her size is not something that defined her as such.
Bree, I completely agree with your thoughts.
The thing to remember is that it isn't a contest, whom is more beautiful or sexy in lingerie, I think the point is that you both are, for yourselves and for each other. I'd suggest you try to look at it from that perspective :)
It's all in good fun but my SO is 5'.......just five foot. There are no additional inches. I'm 6' 3" She's always giving me a hard time that my legs are nicer than hers, especially in heels.
PS: Hoping to have updated pics soon. Seriously, zero alone time until those darn kids get back in school. :o