Thanks again for all of your responses.

Although, as I read over my initial post and as I think more about it, I'm not sure if I should have used the word "jealous"...maybe "disconcerting" would have been a better word.

I also should point out that I'm sure there are many GG's who do not feel like I do, but I do consider myself to be a pretty normal, middle-aged women. That being said, I also consider myself to be more self-analytical than most people and my friendship/relationship with my friend has made me think about things that I have never had to think about before. A for-instance would be...if I wear panties and a bra that are a deep purple color, my new friend will say, "Oh my God - I LOVE that color and they're beautiful, etc. and of course tell me that I look beautiful as well" but my ex would just say that they look sexy...my ex would not care in the least bit if the color was drab green, or polka dots, or muddy brown. So, for me, I feel a bit more pressure to buy/wear stuff that meets his approval (such as color, a certain kind of lace, the feel of the fabric, etc.) because I know that he thinks a lot about that stuff - certainly more than I do). I also know that he keeps himself a certain size/shape so that he looks a certain way in his lingerie - so I do look at his long, thin legs and I'm not jealous of them, but it triggers a very subtle emotion that is hard to pinpoint... He may look like a man in lingerie, but I can't wear the long, flowing Olga nightgown...my short legs and my extra few pounds would make it look worse on me than on him, and I'm the woman.

So, I do think that a wife or partner of a CDer could have a lot of mixed feelings that aren't just simply that they don't approve of what you do - there just may be more layers involved and if she's a middle-aged woman that is a bit over-weight and you are wearing clothes that she can't wear, it may trigger feelings that she would never admit to having.

I have a ways to go before I meet my friend and I'm sure that I'll tell him I how I feel and we'll talk about it, but I just thought I'd share on this forum how this GG feels.