A Question.....

A very good question to ask Tamara. The things that I hate about CDing;
The lying this life style does to people. (denying your true self to yourself and to the world).
The sneaking around that some CD's have to do. (waiting for the opportunity for a wife or SO to leave the premises to engage in an activity like CDing).
The selfishness some CD's present to thier families. (going overboard in spending family money for CDing. Going outside of the marriage/relationship to "explore" thier sexuality).
The feelings of isolation one MAY have while engaging in this lifestyle. (feeling no one would accept or understand, or even love them because of CDing).
The way some CD's act. (believing that this how women feel/act when dressed).
The way that people think a CD is strictly gay or deviant person. (not having the knowledge to respect people in this and other lifestyles).
The way some CD's are dressed and the way they act out in public (style of dress, makeup etc).
Knowing that some people can not simply walk away from this once and for all.

I hate having to be careful of what I say around people I'm not out to.

I hate not being able to share some things with people I'm out to who aren't trans.

I hate having to bushwhack my path at times.

I hate that how I wish my body was is often called nasty things, even in the T* community.

I hate having to worry about whether or not I should tell people I love who I really am.

I dislike "either/or" because usually I'm neither.

I agree hate is a strong word. I hate using the word hate....but I will

I hate the pain it causes

I hate the relationships, marriages, lives it has turned upside down or destroyed.

I hate the hiding, the fear of discovery by their loved ones many cd's live with. When the thing they want the most is to be recognized and accepted for who they are by the ones they love most.

I hate to see the anguish, confusion and resentment that many So's, wives and girlfriends go through when the CD bomb is dropped on their lives.
I can only imagine the turmoil they go thru trying to rebuild, re-stabilize and redefine the life they didn't ask for but now have.

I hate that I can only offer my support with inadequate words thru an inadequate medium. I can not reach out and touch a hand, offer a shoulder, give a hug, make them feel better.
I hate that

Having decided never to "come out" I hate the isolation. I hate the fact that my desire to dress has overtaken other things in my life. I also hate the statement, "Once you have the desire there is NO WAY to ever rid yourself of it". I hate the guilt and fear of being "outted". I hate the fact that at the moment and actually since before I started this 6 months or so ago, I have no girlfriend and don't see how I ever will with my current "situation" of dressing. I hate to read statements like, "I've been divorced twice because of my crossdressing".

But having said all of that and sitting here in breastforms,top, garters and nylons I for some crazy reason love this!

Good question!

I hate the mental gymnastics involved.

You tell the truth...you lose.
You hide it....you lose.

So you end up just feeling depressed about the whole thing.

I hate it when I'm too nervous to buy femme items by myself.

I hate it when I'm all dressed up, looking good, but too nervous to go out.

I hate when I have a perfect opportunity to dress and I'm completely shaved, but I just don't feel like dressing up.

I hate it when people believe you have to conform to their standards of CD/TG. Or agree with their gender theories. :D

I hate it when people emotionally torture themselves because they believe that they somehow chose to be a CDer, or that their upbringing made them a CDer. We are born with gender diversity, these events are simply triggers & catalysts. However, that doesn't mean we should let ourselves be overwhelmed by the Pink Fog. It's up to us to learn how to deal with our gender diversity & how we express it.

:hugs:

Robin

OK,

Let's see. I hate the way it made me feel like I was a freak when I was young.
I hate the way it screwed up confidence when I was young.
I hate the way it sometimes makes me ashamed of myself.
I hate knowing that even though she insists its not true, my wife must from time to time feel shame about it also.
Many other things that I note have already been stated by others.
I need to drag one out that you specifically said we couldn't use, because to me the reasons for it are not shallow: I DO hate taking it all off.
I was raised by single and widowed women. They were the strong influence in my life, the ones that struggled to keep it together and worked to raise a family. All of the adult males I met until mid teens, including my Father, sucked and were generally worthless (a feeling reinforced by my grandmothers stating the same at every occasion). For me taking it off is not all about vanity, it is going from something/someone beautiful and admirable back to being something much less - something dirty, something ugly. It must be what superman would feel like going back to being Clark Kent.
Wow - I didn't realize I had all that in me until right this second. I guess I'm more screwed up than I had thought! lol
Kim

So far, from what I've seen here, whether we love things about it or hate things about it, CDing is indeed a force to be reckoned with. It's how we manage it that makes all the difference, in my opinion.:happy:

I hate not knowing -- really knowing -- why.

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Originally Posted by Sharon

I dislike that people don't think certain articles of clothing don't exemplify crossdressing, such as the wearing of slacks and jeans.

I dislike that some people think their manner of dressing is the only legitimate manner.

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Ewwwwww.... Ohhhh and I hate people that can't tell when other people are pulling one over on them.... And could care less how they dress.... Hehe

And I hate it when replys and post get deleted for no appearent reason....

:like this one will probably be...

Lol

Love Karren

Like Marie I find hate the wrong word maybe I've moved past it I perfer what saddens me about this life

It saddens me when I have to deal with the judments of others.
It sadens me to see friends having to deal with the guilt, shame, and lack of acceptance.
It saddens me when I see what the selfishness, self absorbtion, and lies does to relationships and families.
And it saddens me most none of this will change in my lifetime

I really don't "hate" anything or anyone, I do have issues with stereotypes and phobias that people have about the cd community. I wish we were more understood, hell I wish I understood me more. This is a great thread it makes us have to think.
Thanks!!!

The 2 things I hate are;
1. When someone says that CDers need to see a doctor to CORRECT the problem. and
2. When someone says we are going to go to HELL for being this way and we had better change.
Love,
Tamera

OK i hate the fact to live and keep the peace that i have to hide a part of who i am , me being Wendy and accepting that this is a huge part of who i am .... it took me way too long to understand that with out Wendy the rest of me is completely impossable..... people that i love that don't know abought or understand the Wendy can't possible understand that it's her vary being inter woven in "HIM" that keeps at lest some stability in my life.....

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Originally Posted by Tamara GG

Julie pointed out that the same thing gets discussed all the time and to try and come up with something different to talk about... so, I thought about it :D

You all talk about what you love, what you wear... blah...blah...blah... but what we don't discuss is this: -

What is it about crossdressing that you HATE??

Now, please think about this question, don't rush into answering it. I [SIZE="4"]don't [/SIZE]want to hear the following: -

1. Not enough time to dress
2. Hate taking it all off
3. I hate not being a real woman
4. I hate not being able to wear what I want....

Heard all those before ;) I want to hear new things, even things about other CD's that you really hate ok? Oh and don't make this personal about members on this forum.... or you'll get :slap:

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1.) I hate not being able to "show off" my hobby to others----without being thought of as some kind of freak or "pervert" . But there is nothing one can do about that as it freaks out most people. So I have to stay hidden and do it in private----Unless I want to pay the price of going public--which, to me aint worth it.

2.) I hate ignorance in people who equate CD with homosexuality---Not that I have anything against gays, I just do not like to deal with the prejudices of the SAME jackasses that "bash" gays and dont know the difference between gay and CD---I have enough stuff to worry about without that nonsense.

3. I am irritated by other CDs who assume that ALL CDs want to be real women or that every CD is really a "woman" on the inside. Nonsense! at least Half of us want to be male and ARE male on the inside---we CD to temporally "escape" our real selves---for various reasons, usuall stress releif and relaxation, like a "vacation"
(no offence intended --notice I didnt sat HATE for #3) :D

I'm just continually bothered by the fact that to a large segment of society, we are not accepted just for being who we are and that we either have to hide that or if we don't we face potential ridicule and derision....or worse. :(

[SIZE="3"]What I hate most of all Tamara is posts like these and this is why. Read through all of these posts and you begin to see a pattern of discontent down the scale to outright desperation and deppression! under it all, the platitudes of how this should be accepted and society is is off and should be able to accept this. If Cding is so right and doesn't hurt a soul then explain the pain and the bewiderment and seperation. CDing is not mainstream, It might reach a level of tolerance that might appear as acceptance.

I hate when someone decides to purge and everyone jumps on the bandwagon and decries that persons efforts to escape. It's like saying to the drunk, don't toss that bottle you know you will return to it, keep it around just in case. Or the smoker, or the drug addict. We want to legitimize our own behaviour. The fact is if it is posible to move beyond CDing then what happens to our argument?

I hate that Cding has become a road block. Living without fear that the children you love or the family you love who do not know of your proclivities,
might find out and you will lose them forever!

I hate that CDing can be used as a weapon against you.

I hate the fact that I can see no honor or selfrespect, in the traditional sense ,in this life style

There is a list if what I hate about this thing That has gripped me for 40 years

Now it is time for my Zanax.

Jennifer:sad: [/SIZE]

Personally, I, too, don't like to use the word hate. It's much too strong a word which I believe should be used sparingly as needed.
That said, Tamara, I dislike the fact that I can't shout from the rooftops that I am a CD. While part of that is my own doing, it is in part due to the misinformation that the general public has about us.
Which is another thing I dislike: that the general public either has no information about us or bad information (thanks to some of our television friends).
Oh, and I really dislike being told I have a problem when I do tell someone that I am a CD.
Enough said.

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Originally Posted by kittypw GG

I hate that when I say "what do you want to do?" he always smiles and implies that crossdressing would be what he would want.

I hate it when he looks at other women. I don't really care that he is "looking at their clothes". Sounds like a cop out to me.

I hate that some cd's can't enjoy life because everything is an intrusion on their chance to crossdress.

I hate the lying and sneeking around.

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Other than the sneaking, that one might apply to me. Sigh . . . but then I guess i never claimed to be perfect, or even worth while for that matter.
Kim

Tamara, I dislike how cd'ing seems to alienate individuals from the public, and worse their families or loved ones. It seems that many CDRs, whether MTF or FTM, are forced to live a life in secrecy. Especially when it means being deceitful to those most important to them!

[SIZE=3]You know what I hate? I hate it when questions like these make the CDer's think about things they would rather not and then they get down on themselves:( , wish they were different, didn't have the desires they do, etc. It only serves to add more confusion to an already, often times, misjudged puzzle that just can't seem to be figured out , which in turn causes emotions :mad: to arise that then cause turmoil in the partnership of the CDer and their SO/partner/GF/spouse. This is what I HATE about CDing. That and the sneeking around and secrecy.[/SIZE]

. . .and I can see your trying to ease what hurts for some, but it's always a good idea to evaluate yourself and your position every once in a while. It was a thoughtful question and I'd much rather see questions like that than "What kind of panties do you like?" lol
Kim

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Originally Posted by Country girl GG

[SIZE=3]You know what I hate? I hate it when questions like these make the CDer's think about things they would rather not. . .[/SIZE]

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It's tough going after the "new" Kimberly, and I hope I don't p*ss anybody off, but I had to get this off my breast...er, I mean chest.

I only hate inconsiderate people who put innocent lives in danger.

I do not like the fact that all of the easily obtained information that is now available on the internet concerning cd/tg/ts was not available as recently as 10 years ago.

Because of the above, I do not like the fact that having not known what I know now, I chose a spouse without being totally honest with her, even though I thought at the time, my “condition” would eventually disappear.

Having said that, and knowing about others' lives who have been totally ruined, I do not like other CD/TG/TS or GG's implying that because I am in the Closet, I am being selfish and dishonest, when in fact, although I may be guarding a secret…. I am the opposite of being selfish. I am so much in love with my family that I would sacrifice my own potentialities to prevent anything from tearing us apart. I can and have been dealing with my own mental extravaganza. And as you can see, I am almost perfectly happy!

I do not like when some in this community expect the world to totally accept them for who and what they are while totally ignoring the fact that they are entitled to their own opinions, beliefs, and morals. A liberal mindset should not mean that we respect other people just as long as they are willing to agree with us.

Oh, yeah…. I forgot. I also hate snakes, spiders and high humidity that makes my breast forms stick to my bra!

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Originally Posted by Jennifer Keely Smith

[SIZE=3]I hate the fact that I can see no honor or selfrespect, in the traditional sense ,in this life style [/SIZE]

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I can't address your life or situation but there are many that don't agree! My wife and I are enjoy our "outings" and I tell her everything about any of the solo outings I take. I have a great many friends in my T-girl social club and we talk to people we meet to help them understand a little about us as a whole. We also have helped raise money for several charities. I live an honest and full life and consider honesty about the holiest trait a person can have. That being said, no, I am not out to my friends or community.

Sally