I don't think of myself as transgendered. I'm a guy through and through. I just have a part of me that likes to dress and enjoy the female mystique. Even dressed I don't think of myself as female. I'm a guy. Maybe I'm weird that way.
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I don't think of myself as transgendered. I'm a guy through and through. I just have a part of me that likes to dress and enjoy the female mystique. Even dressed I don't think of myself as female. I'm a guy. Maybe I'm weird that way.
Not only am I OK with being a tranny, Im proud of it! I suppose the light bulb clicked on for me just recently. Its literally like a light came on and ever since I have been coming out and being myself. I totally accept who I am and I love it!! But It took a LONG time for that to happen though!
It took me about 30 years to figure out and admit that I was a crossdresser. It was about another two years before I became relatively comfortable with it. I still have a ways to go yet, but I've made some pretty good progress. A supportive SO has been crucial in my coming to terms with who I am.
It's okay Jennifer, transgendered is the easiest word to use since we all fall under that umbrella group. It's much easier than each of us trying to explain where we fall on the scale.:)Quote:
Originally Posted by Jenniferathome
Wonderful replies so far! @ Renee you're right we didn't have a choice with this but some choose to fight and deny it instead of accept.
Outed politicians are a nice example of why hiding a part of our core being does not work and is also a neat example of taking others down with you.
o_o
Being trans is great. Better than being a plain vanilla person.
Stephanie, something in the way you expressed your thoughts reminded me of "Are you sure you're having fun?" "Yes, DAMMIT, I already told you I'm having fun, now get off my case! :brolleyes:" :tongueoutQuote:
Originally Posted by Stephanie-L
JayCee, was our support meeting last week the very first time you had been "dressed" in front of anyone other than your SO? You did well, up and talking to people, and not "wall-flowering" at all.Quote:
Originally Posted by Jay Cee
I don't feel like I ever had a negative thought about it, so I never had a lightbulb moment. I am a late bloomer and did it all along with my wife. So there was no hiding, no regrets, no denial. Lucky? Maybe. I just tend to accept things pretty easily.
I am very much much OK with being TG. I feel like a much more complete person since I have allowed myself to fall into who I am and dress like I do. The more time goes by, the better I feel. I am moving toward a more complete integration of my male and female energies and I like it. It also helps immensely to have a wonderfully supportive SO in my life.
I'm very happy to be who I am. It's taken me a while to get to this point but it feels very good to accept myself being transgendered. It was something that I hid from for many years and was scared to admit to myself. But in the last few months I've realized I have been a much happier person and I enjoy life so much more now.
I've accepted who I am; I'm not thrilled about the whole 'feeling like I'm supposed to be a girl' thing, any more than I'm not thrilled by having arthritis. It's something you learn to deal with, like any other problem in life. I've always believed that we're as happy as we want to be with who, and what we are, and how our life is. You can choose to be miserable, or see the good side of life. I choose the latter.
I am OK with it. I admit to needing a certain amount acceptance and approval, however, and don't see a lot of that now or in the future. Perhaps I'm more social than I've always thought.
Lea
Hi,
Knew what i was who i was accepted with out any doughts , to explain that total no idear no words or meaning to express that just knew to not say a thing, age 10.
As i grow as a person was a bit rough, it was not about being a boy or a girl know there were a few things not quite right yet accepted that as just being what i was, mind you i was closed down so that helped .in some ways i expressed my girl / boy did not know there was a difference no problem.
Much later as i grow i knew there were things takeing place that would help me to live as a woman . just i had to go through things till the right time came , really it was about growing & to become strong in my self . accepted fully my difference,
...noeleena...
YES
I have know since I was little that I felt there was something wrong. I always liked frilly things and looking like a girl. My mom dressed me like a girl when I was really young. Then at some age it wasn't ok, don't know for sure. But I always dressed up as a girl and couldn't stop for any real length of time. I tried hideing behind a male persona but the girl eventually came out. I purged my clothes many times and always regretted it. A light bulb finally came on for me when my four wife left me telling that she could not any longer compete with the two of me? It toke me a year of hideing from the world and living alone to finally understand and accept who and what I am, transgendered. I now live my life as a girl, except for the occasional job where a male needs to be presented. I have a lot of new friends that accept Laura for who she is and I have FINALLY accepted myself and I really couldn't be any happier. Laura is finally free and I love being able to be myself and do anything as a female. I have had hundreds of firsts since, flew on a plane, spent a whole vacation as Laura, shopping, working and just being a girl. Its so wonderful now, that I really don't know how I lived so long in deniel.
What choice do I have?
accept the fact or…
I envy you Sue! It's always been a curse for me, and though I've learned to accept that it's in my DNA, I'm glad that finally Julie only surfaces a couple times a year. At those times though, I do scratch the itch with an all-out Julie outing, which is awesome when it happens. It sure is simpler to just be a guy..being a woman is complicated! Though I will say that the experiences as Julie do give me an appreciation of what it might be like to be a woman, at least in some small way. I think the whole thing has helped me to empathize with women a bit more, and to be better at listening..usually not my strong suit!Quote:
Originally Posted by Sue
@ Jenniferathome re: your comment "I don't think of myself as transgendered. I'm a guy through and through. I just have a part of me that likes to dress and enjoy the female mystique. Even dressed I don't think of myself as female. I'm a guy. Maybe I'm weird that way. "
You pretty much hit it on the head for me, though when dressed and on an outing I do try to step into a female role, as it helps to pull the whole thing off..but the line between fantasy and reality is never blurred.
Earlier I wrote "It is what it is."
There is a different but related question, "Would you go back?" or (for MTF) "Would you rather be a 'normal' male?"
The answer for me is to shudder. Even though I do not identify as definitely female, I don't much care for being a 'normal male'. Sure sex and making love were Good Stuff, and yes, I've probably had the benefit of "male privilege" more than a few times, but it grates against my grain. I've been a misfit a long time.
Of course, if there was a Be A Normal Male Pill, then I wouldn't mind about those things afterwards.
So I guess I'm at a place that is right for me to be at considering what I've gone through. Am I "happy", though? Not so much. The suffering I went through to get here... it tires me out, grinds down my spirit. I've been good, I've been conscientious, gentle, generous, hard working, ethical; couldn't the Fates have given me a lesser supply of loneliness and a greater supply of happiness?
Be true to yourself and love yourself...it's a short life...enjoy every minute, no matter what drives you! Embrace the fact that you're different and special!
I will add to the chorus.....a year into this journey,at 60, and i am feeling alive and young and full of discovery.I do have a supportive wife and actually it was her that pointed out my possible crossdress ( call it whatever) leanings. I totally enjoy, embrace and have used this discovery to lose weight, acknowledge my love of "girly...fem areas.I still ride the harley, race sailboats and exsist in a very macho business world, but with me ......its a 2 for 1 deal. I am more peaceful and loving and frankly I think I look pretty good dressed...having fun. lastly, it is wonderful to read the responses....marleena...great question,as usual....
I am happy being me. I would not change my gender expressions in any way. I am a man that happens to be crossdresser and that helps make me a better man with a better understanding and appreciation for women.
[SIZE="4"]Dressing is still a hobby with me albeit a somewhat obsessive hobby. I'm quite happy with myself, actually the happiest I've ever been. The real turning point was my divorce and later the breaking up with my ladyfriend. At first I felt I needed to jump right back into another relationship. As time has gone by, though, I've come to realize that I'm so much happier not having to live relative to another person. I'm free to do whatever, whenever I please. Wow, what a concept! I'm simply me now, plain and simple and happy.[/SIZE]
I hadn't really thought about it until I read this thread. I think Freddy has summed it up quite nicely for me. I feel the same about "Tran--" anything, I don't think I am. I'm a non-sexually motivated CD. My outlook on life is masculine; I don't feel as if I should have been born female at all. I don't feel that I have some sort of second, female personality either. On the other hand, "dressing" is something that I just do - something about it makes me feel better somehow. It's an art form to some extent, I suppose - which is odd because I'm not artistic. I've accepted that part of my character and I realise that I'll probably always CD to some extent now.
Life would have been a lot easier, if I was not a cross dresser! I would not have gone through long periods of trying to figure out my sexual identity. Instead of being a happy guy 90% of the time, I would have been a happy guy 100% of the time. If I could put a 'light bulb' moment on my self acceptance, I'd say it did not happen until I retired. You raise your kids. You do not have to worry about the job finding out! Your wife knows, even if it is DADT! You're financially secure-even at a 50-50 split of community assets! To be revealed or discovered by others has minimal consequences.
If my wife were to pass, then the percentage would switch to 90% girl and 10% guy. She is the only person I do not want to hurt by outing myself to the entire world.
Maybe what I'm saying is I had full acceptance of my sexual identity in the 1980's, but, full expression of that identity has yet to come.
I'm more than OK with it I enjoy it very much. No light bulb, I've always wished I could dress like a girl.
As for how I'm dealing with it as with most things in life you either accept it or go into therapy for the next 20 years.
I have accepted that I am different then most men, which is just great with me. I don't want to be a typical man as I really don't have much in common with them Oh sure I can blend with them and pretend to be interested in what they do but seriously I am a woman on the inside and that is where it counts. At least to me.
This affects every part of my being from the normal day to day chores. To doing the things that I really would rather do but can't because I look like a man, But I am working on that everyday.
Not to keen on being seen as this will cause my wife turmoil and me heartache probably. I don't care what they think of me but I do want to protect my family as much as any woman can that is in the body of a man.
I have accepted that I am indeed a crossdresser and quite possibly a TS to boot but I have not crossed that bridge.
I am who I am and that's all I am. Have I accepted it, yes because I like me. I really like me a whole lot more as a F tho :)
When did the light bulb go off? Call it midlife if you wish but at 40 I decided I was tired of being what others wanted and I needed to do something for me. Still 17 years later I haven't totally made myself happy but I am less concerned about how people see me. As long as they see me as a kind and good person that is what I am here for.
Yes, I am very comfortable in my chosen gender... Once I finally realized that it was I who had to finally accept abby my whole world changed positively... There is now peace and tranquility in my life... No more anxiety or guilt attacks and amazingly the public is really more involved within their own world than mine...
abby
It is a herculean task managing TGism in any society of the world no matter how tolerant that society is. My history like most girls here was also filled with bumps. I have been trying/pretending to be a guy it has been my struggle. The turning point of my life is when i realize that the more i accept am a TG the less i want to dress, my second turning point (if i may say so) is when i realize and accept that the chances of me finding a woman that will accept me is almost zero, and thirdly is when i realize that am not alone (many TGs in the world). Accepting those three facts really helped me............and yeah this site helped alot in my journey.
Being yourself is always ok, being who you are not isn't. Been ok since day of realization and am happier for it.
I am 100% ok with it . Infact , I love it more than anything else . I hope I stick with it for long.
Interesting question.
When I was in the military, I received a lot of training in how to respond to being interrogated, what to expect if captured, etc. My absolute biggest fear was not death or injury but that I would be forced to admit out loud that I was trans. How I got from that to THIS is still a bit of a mystery to me.
I don’t know exactly what triggered things, possibly the deaths of some friends, but I reached a point where I HAD to be true to who I am.
So far, my life has gotten exponentially better, including my marriage. More complicated, more drama at times, sometimes tears, but definitely better. :)
That woman inside has been waiting a LONG time to get out and she doesn't appear to want to go back!
Debby
I am now, in the beginning no. It has taken a number of years to be OK with who I am becoming. :) Only time will tell where I end up, but I plan on enjoying the trip to the fullest. :D
I am not okay with being transgendered in the slightest. I truly hate it.
I have no one to talk to about it with. There's no place to go (but that's more money/gas issues than anything else). My family refuses to acknowldge it in even the tiniest bit. And since coming out about it, I've lost every single friend I once had.
If I could go back in time and stop myself from telling any one, I would in a heart beat.
And yes, I am trying to make it go away. I put all the female clothes over in the corner of the room where even I will never have to see them and think about it. I try to avoid the LGBT community whenever I can. I honestly don't know why I even come to this site anymore.
Sandra-leigh,Quote:
Originally Posted by sandra-leigh
It looks a bit like you are taking what I wrote out of context. I was trying to express the fact that acceptance of ones TGness is not just one simple thing, there are lots of dimensions to it. As I said, I have learned to love the woman I am, and have accepted her as the person I have always really been. I have also gotten really tired of all the problems that being TG has added to my life. Will I deal with them and keep working my way forward, you bet I will. So, asking if I am Okay with being TG is kind of a limited question in a very large topic.........................Stephanie
Marleena Honey, great thread.
I am way in the closet. To date I have only told one person, besides you all of course about Filomena(really Gina but I have yet to figure out how to change my name here, Filomena...what was I thinking). BUT I realize at a deep level that this feeling will not just go away, I have to deal with being TG'd. In the past I ran and got drunk and did drugs and almost died, I never really knew why, I buried it so deep. I still am not really happy being male. I do not want to be a gay dude but even that would be easier than being to the left of middle like I am designed.
So I deal with it but I only get so far. I continue to loose weight and shave and under dress, I can barley take my forms off anymore I love wearing them so much, so relaxing.
Knowledge is power, and I am glad to know what I am, I feel I have accepted myself....well I am close to it...Thanks everybody for their answers, a big help for this girl.
I'm so sorry for you my friend! Like my psychiatrist told me yesterday if people can't accept you the way you are they have the problem! I know it's easy for him to say but it's true. Avoiding it and the community won't make it go away but only cause you more grief. Have you considered a gender therapist, they tell us we only need one if we can't deal with who we are.Quote:
Originally Posted by GBJoker
I've fought with being transgendered for decades myself. Only when I accepted it's part of my being have I found peace. I haven't told close friends or family that is the only difference between us. You put your trust in those people and feel betrayed because they can't understand your being different.
You see when I transform to a woman people will have a problem with that. It's a visual thing with all MTF's, it's obvious we are different. If they know me as a guy I look and seem normal so the change is drastic. It's hard for them to handle.
Ever wonder why a homosexual male that doesn't dress is easier to accept? It's because usually he looks like the rest of the guys. Put a dress and makeup on him and that changes the acceptance for many. People automatically have problems with something different outside of the norms unless they know or met somebody that might fall into that category.
Once people become educated that we were born different will it become easier for us. We won't seem so threatening to their own beliefs.
Hmmmmm this sounds very familiar. I hoped like crazy that coming out as gay would be enough. ...It wasn't.Quote:
Originally Posted by FILOMENA
"Gay? I wish! If I were gay they'd be no problem! No, what I have is a romantic abnormality, one so unbelievable that it must be hidden from the public at all cost. You see..."
You mean like I have a choice? I yam what I yam,and I stopped fighting it a long time ago. OK? Yes, more than OK, with myself. With intolerance, not so much.
I'm not ok with being transgendered. I have totally accepted myself but I can't dress as much as I want to which just tortures me. I'm dealing with it one day at a time.