Reine, you need to become a gender therapist. You can see right through any issue more than anyone here.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
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Reine, you need to become a gender therapist. You can see right through any issue more than anyone here.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
If I were younger and had the time and resources to get the degree, this is most definitely something that I'd consider.
Hi Toni, Thanks for the post and can I say: I 100% absolutely identify with your predicament. It's difficult to place onesself in any category. I know I'm totally turned on by the idea of intimacy with a man while en femme, namely for that unmentionable appendage, and yet have no physical attraction to men in any other sense. Sounds like we both should find friends in a crossdresser and try to carry on with GGs. All the Best, Leila.
Got porn? Would these fantasies occur without it? Just another thing to consider since you're not attracted to men in real life. Or did you ever have these fantasies when you were an adolescent (before porn became overly accessible)? I have similar fantasies BTW, but I'm reluctant to make them reality.
As far as 'flipping a switch' goes, electrical currents aren't always on/off. Resistance is variable.
I dunno...
Porn isn't a good measure of anything IMO.
For example, I exclusively fantasize about guys but cannot get into gay porn.
Confusing enough as it is, I'd love to call myself straight but I just don't think of women sexually either.
I kind feel the same way. when I dress as a women I think i like to be with a man. mabey just a fantasy
Whowhatwhen, you're going to have to stop thinking about it and get out there to experiment! Develop relationships with both GGs and guys and see where they lead you. :)
All when I'm ready...Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
:)
It's just a very interesting topic to me, but I'm not desperate either.
;)
i enjoy the company of men as much as women. depending on the day one more than the other. i also have a hard time getting into gay porn. i think it's because of the quality that its made with. i do enjoy watching the men in straight porn. or looking up "playgirl" type of pictures. maybe it's because i enjoy being fem while being with a man, and i'm picturing myself as the starlet in a vid. i do have "toys" to help me out when i can't find a suitable partner. maybe some solo experimenting could help you figure out stuff safely at home.Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
Now that I do like...Quote:
Originally Posted by Sandy Michaels
;)
The other thing, well... Not physically possible at the moment and there is a good chance it never will be.
Though we're drifting off topic here.
From what I can see though, being gay or bi extends to male mode as well so if you're not looking at naked dudes in drab then you're likely not gay or bi.
If you're still confused therapy could help, but there is no need to rush through anything.
<---- Take with a single grain of salt
On the porn I've never been a big fan of really any kind of porn although I have my favorites that involve what GGs do. I never look at naked male models at all. When at the gym I do notice guys, but its I wish I was that cut up type of thing. Not he's so hot LOL! Thanks for the comments, especially yours Reine! Very helpful , thank you.
Reine. Very helpful! Thank you. I feel the same as toni. Toni. I understand.
Sorry for bumping this, but I have to thank the posters of this thread.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
It made me curious so I looked, and yup, definitely attracted to guys and not just the penis itself.
A milestone for sure, and while it doesn't answer everything it certainly makes a big difference and a big leap towards self-acceptance.
It comes down now to gay or bi, but straight is 100% definitely off the table.
A big thanks to the undoubtedly nsfw (but not pornographic) thread titled "PYF D**ks" thread on the SA forums.
:)
I would recommend anyone confused similar to the OP to try looking at non pornographic pictures of guys.
You'll know pretty quick if it's the male body turning you on, or just his penis.
i went through the same thing. up until recently males were just a penis to me. now i find men just as attractive as females on all the same levels. it's been fun coming to understand those feelings. not with out head aches but definitely proud of my Bisexuality.Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
Toni, Your post could have been written by me. Same here. I am not really attracted to men, but, when all dolled up, feel like being with a gentleman, and being a lady. I met only one guy, and it was ok, but, he did not enjoy the meeting. No kissing, no penetration. I think he was wanting more.
Hi Toni,
first i want to say I'm glad you are allowing yourself to explore and figure out who you really are !!!
I am a GG who is involved with a wonderful person who is a CD.
Maybe this can give you some perspective from the other side of the fence......When I am with my SO and he is in Femme... he likes to be the Woman (recipient) so I donne my my "Male" personna and be the man with a little help (if you know what I mean w/o being too graphic) I love being and expressing the Male part of me. I guess I can say I am a CD too....When my SO is in male personna he is the mam and I function as a woman. I guess we both have a "duality" to both of us.
When he is in Femme I think he is the most beautiful thing (woman) in the world...when he is a man he is the most handsome , wonderful man in the world. I find womans breasts beautiful but i don't think I could ever be w a woman sexually. so even "straight people have some confusion about this issue too. We are all along the spectrum ...not black and white ....very many shades of grey.
Just Love yourself and take your time to figure it all out.
Just know that there are others that have been what you have been thru ....from both sides of the fence persay that can empathize w you .
i hope this gave you some food for thought and some comfort that we are all trying to figure it all out -----
Hugs for you !!!! big smiles tooo!!!!
For some of us it is more complicated....
OMG.....Do I know that feeling!Quote:
Originally Posted by julia marie
Another sister's perspective that I totally identify with.Quote:
Originally Posted by danam
Nothing wrong with that. Thats pretty natural actually. Its all a gradual transition. First you fantasize about men, then you enjoy making love with men, then you eventually fall in love with men. Its only genetic girls who will deny this idea and come up with theories to cover up insecurities. The possibility that their man likes other men is VERY threatening.Quote:
Originally Posted by toni_62
But I agree with Reine there is no problem if CD just want to use men physically to feel like a woman. Its a win win for both the man and CD. And like others have mentioned. The first man you meet will not always be your prince. Take your time and the right man will come into your life CDs. He will love you unconditionally just like he would a genetic girl.
Toni_62. I feel the same as you, although I've never experimented yet. Lady Panda, that is awsome you and your husband can be that way with each other.
Thank you soo much ....I wish other women could be totally accepting. I think they have to realize that it is not about them but it IS about their SO and what they feel and who they are. What is inside them from birth.Quote:
Originally Posted by laura.lapinski
Here we go again. :facepalm:Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
And nonsense. As a GG, I would much prefer my SO to have explored all of this and actually determined whether the fantasy of sex with someone who has a penis is a real attraction to men, or merely something that emphasizes internal feelings of femininity. If it is a desire to feel feminine in bed, then this is something that we can easily deal with. :D I would absolutely hate being with someone who hadn't determined if they are truly bi or not, and who therefore spent their time fantasizing being with men. I think it's important for any female-attracted CDer who is in a relationship with a GG, to know whether the actual experience of being a male-bodied man having sex with another male-bodied man is a turn-off or not.
Totally. The CD should explore. But honestly, if he does and he discovers that sex with a guy grosses him out, it's unlikely he'll want to repeat the experience? To continue doing this seems silly. Or if his imagination and fantasy is strong enough to move beyond the distaste of having sex with a man and he manages to disembody his partner and sees him as a penis only, frankly I wouldn't want to be this admirer. lol. I'd like to know I'm more than a body part when I have sex with someone. :p But, maybe I'm looking at it from a woman's point of view who sees sex as a more holistic (all encompassing) thing. Truthfully, it is the all-encompassing nature of sex that makes it a mind blowing experience for me.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
However, if the CDer is not grossed out then he really is gay or bi and he can carry on having relationships with men and enjoy them.
Well, not really. Although you (Seanmuscle) may be the exception and you date women no matter their chromosomes and body parts, admirers (or tranny chasers) specifically seek transwomen over GGs. I'm assuming an important difference is the presence of a penis, and judging by the stories I read in this forum and elsewhere from those who have experienced this, the transwomen are dropped as soon as they've had SRS. This is NOT loving them as any genetic girl.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
A crossdresser isn't going to be spending all of her time in female mode, would you still love her in male mode?Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Still be attracted to her male features and form? Still want to be seen in public as a gay couple?
Let's also not forget that a crossdresser who identifies as a man may still have a working penis and may actually want to use it...
Would you take care of those needs? In male mode as well?
I rather think this is precisely what admirers want. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
Don't know about mail mode though. Mileage varies.
It never comes on a Sunday?Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Edit:
It appears that in my haste to make a HILARIOUS pun, (because I'm 8 you see), I seem to have made no sense.
when it comes to relationships i look for a good connection with a person. don't really care if they're male, female, crossdresser, whatever. its more important to me to have that bond. unless it's a quickie then i go for what ever i'm in the mood for.
Reine I just like femininity. It could be CD, transgender, preop, post op, genetic girl etc... I am masculine all the way and have no interest in the penis. As long as he looks like a genetic girl and enjoys traditional female gender roles then Im good. I love CDs with dainty builds, small hands/feet, soft features etc.. I would never date a CD that was big, hairy and had huge muscles.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
But I agree on one thing. Tranny chasers are just bi/gay men who are in the closet. I am a straight man who likes feminine women. I have normal relationships with CDs. Man + woman. No fetish or anything like that.
I don't find the composite masculine form attractive. Stares and compliments from men while I'm en femme re-confirm the feeling that I'm doing something right, but after I say "thank you" if the conversation continues down the attraction (or fetishistic) rabbit-hole, I state my non-interest. I'm also mature enough to thank a gay man for a compliment paid while I'm not en femme, but then state that I'm flattered though not interested. (sidenote: I never understood the point of a straight guy blowing up on a gay guy in this situation - someone who finds your form attractive had the courage to tell you so. I don't always have the courage to do that to women and it's pretty much expected.)
If a male compliments me and suggests that they cross-dress as well I instantly turn the "new friend now" light on. Strength in numbers, right? If I feel things getting too suggestive, I re-direct the conversation back to the fact that I consider cross-dressers my sisters (yes, including all of you!). I wouldn't cut another CD off unless my hand was basically forced.
I've hit on women while en femme. My success rate isn't much worse than when I do it as a guy.
Almost all of my sexual experiences have been with GGs. Two I've had sex with either while cross-dressed (ie, lift the skirt) or while being undressed from en femme (and still in that mindset). I prefer to be the dominant one in these relations (this will be important in three line breaks).
I've never really thought of post-op (whether born male or intersexed) as a special circumstance except for referential purposes.
I would be open to sexual experiences and dating a non-op TS woman again. While I'd like to play pitcher only in this set-up, the right TS woman could talk me into reversing roles now and then.
(can you tell my internal copy editor told me to write this post carefully?)
Except that most crossdressers identify as men, and as such will be in male mode most of the time.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
How can you have a relationship with someone if you're only going to be attracted to them part of the time?
The way I see it, many crossdressers like the idea of having feminine beauty. Female beauty is something so grand and unique and part of it is the power of seduction. I think a lot of us feel that having men want you sexually is the confirmation of us having that beauty. I don't but some do
hi toni
i understand exactly how you feel. i feel the same way. for the longest time i never was with a man. nor did i ever want to be. a party happened not long ago, and feelings that were there from a long time ago resurfaced. although we didnt do anything but kiss, i felt a huge turn on being treated like a girl when i was dressed. it left me wondering about myself and now im at that stage that ive admitted to myself i like guys while in femme mode. In guy mode i would never look to a man that way, but "jessica" loves guys and loves checking them out.
i guess ill deal with it a step at a time. its all i can really do.
As a guy I'd never have sex or get funny with men while dressed as a woman. I stopped shopping as a woman because I didn't want to attract men. But if God changed me into a woman one morning, and I had a real vagina, breasts, female face, hair and voice - then I would live life as a woman and I'd do everything a woman does with a man except anal sex.
But everytime I get sex, I prefer being a woman than a man. When I see porn I imagine myself as the woman.
Now if I really needed action with a man I'd rather have a wife play role reversal with me. She being a man in a suit while I'm the secretary.
You probably like a penis because of what it represents, and because you have one yourself. As far as being with a guy in your head not matching up to reality...oh, well. Sometimes fantasies are just fantasies.
Maybe you just like the thought of a man taking you as a woman because it puts you in a passive role. The penis is usually doing the penetrating, and putting the person being penetrated in the submissive position. Also, since you know how good it feels to have your *stuff* pleasured, it's probably easy to relate to how it might feel to give that pleasure to someone else with the same equipment.
I think you should just go for someone that you are sexually compatible with and who you love. There are a lot of GGs out there that feel more comfortable in the dominating position and doing the penetration. And, then, there are those that may not need anything to penetrate to make you feel like you are the one getting done. Then, there are tons of beautiful toys that can help you live any fantasy that you could possibly think of without having to put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
I tend to feel more comfortable in the dominant position. I do love women and have fantasies of women and their parts. Likewise, my SO feels more comfortable in a submissive role and he has fantasies that revolve around penises...but, like you, is not interested in men. When we both opened up to each other, we found that we were way more creative and fun than our initial fantasies. And, we also found that it's 2012...if you can think it, there's a toy for it. A lot of people aren't fan of certain toys, because they think it might not give pleasure to a woman. However, since it IS 2012, there are plenty of things designed for women that put them in the stereotypically dominant position that allow for her to actually feel her lover giving her pleasure. It's not like the toy would be giving her pleasure by itself...it requires someone else doing things to it for the woman to feel it. I won't link it here, but you can PM me if you really can't think of wth I am talking about.
So, I wouldn't write off men or women...I'd keep my options open. You never know what might happen, or who you might meet. My SO and I just found that we were really compatible in that particular department, and our openness allows for creativity that we have often said surpassed our initial fantasies.
So, though I love women...have fantasized about every part of them for years...my SO is way more entertaining and everything that she does makes her the sexiest woman alive IMO. I really doubt there is any GG that could drive me as wild...and, yeah, my SO doesn't have the same equipment as a GG but I've found it really doesn't matter. It's fun to NOT psychoanalyze your fantasies and just go with them. I really don't want to think about the deeper meaning of what turns me on, and I'm sure my SO really doesn't want to psychoanalyze himself either. So, just realize what gets you going and move on from there. It gets really boring when you just limit yourself and stay in one particular fantasy...there's a whole world out there. And, nothing is more fun than having someone that will just build up things mentally for you...so, you can actually be kind of in a fantasy when you are making fantasies a reality. The mind is a pretty powerful sexual organ, and so few people are willing to tap into how powerful things can be with the right imagination. But, that's just my experience and advice...take it for what you will. I just would keep my options open with all people and go for the person (relationship-wise) that does it for me in all ways. However, I'm as bi as the day is long, so my advice is always to keep your options open...so, again, take it for what you will. But, I wouldn't go for someone just for their body parts...it could be pretty hard to ignore the person attached to the penis, and they may have different feelings if they knew that was what really got you on board. It would be like a guy saying, "I really am attracted to men...but, I just love huge boobs...however, I am not sexually into women...I just like huge boobs...and, since I like huge boobs, I don't think I could ever be in a relationship with a man...I just need to sleep with a pair of huge boobs." Makes you feel sad for the person with the huge boobs that ends up with this person? Unless, the person with the huge boobs wants to be objectified for the night...which, there are people that do that. But...I don't know...seems kind of surface level lame a$$ sex. I can't just focus on one body part or action...but, I'm a little ADHD.
Choices, choices, This the part that is hard to deal with. Today for instance I had my number one GG text me saying she wanted to get together soon. I said sure of course as I really like this GG and we have had a relationship in the past, but it turned into just good friends with dates ever so often. When she sends me photos my heart flutters, not naked ones shes a lady. Problem is with her as far as I know she wants a man, but I would love a GG I can be a man or woman with.
Also today I have this guy who is much younger than me and with a body man wise most women would go ga-ga for. He sends me risque photos and except for that one part I'm like ho hum whatever. Of course he just wants sex, but with him I get the one part I dig and can be en femme. I have never been with him, but he messages me online on a regular basis wanting to hook up.
I always tell him sure maybe but never have taken him up on the offer. I can't presently commit to a GG if she wanted to because I want to CD and until I can find a GG who is accepting of it I don't think I can commit. It's very frustrating because with guys it's sex only, and with GG's there is at least the potential for a loving relationship but know CDing. Bummer!!!
Oh. You're good. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by whowhatwhen
..........
Maybe there's no CDing with the GGs you've met, but there are other GGs. :)Quote:
Originally Posted by toni_62
lol more power to you. I'd tell your male friend to be careful if he is sending his penis pics to GGs. My friends and I have never understood why men insist on taking pics of their junk and sending it to us like, "Oh yeah, baby...my c*ck...you know you want it...I don't even have to try...my c*ck speaks for itself." lolQuote:
Originally Posted by toni_62
So, we save all of these pictures in our phone to make fun of them later when we are all together. :(
It's one thing I miss about being single and talking to men...they're endlessly amusing. My boyfriend was pretty skeptical about this behavior, but then he worked as a waitor and said that the women would have a bunch of d*ck pics on their phone that they would tell stories about and laugh at. I was like, "See...I told you...we laugh at you when you do sh*t like that...tell your friends not to do it unless the girl asks for it!"
I think this is why it's hard for me to imagine going for someone just because they have a certain appendage. Because, it's not like you're really into the person...you're just interested in their appendage. And, guys often have this whole relationship with their d*cks that the mere site of it is supposed to do something for women. Most of the time, it really doesn't because we need a bit more stimulation and not just, "My penis...here it is...alright, now that I know you're thoroughly worked up, let's go at it." Again, I feel horrible that we make fun of these guys, but you know how it is...
Maybe they have the same kind of thing going on that they can just see some particular thing and it do everything that they need sexually. I mean, it actually makes me kind of jealous because I usually like a lot of foreplay. But, different strokes for different folks...but, beware of sending pics of your junk out to women. There's a whole game about it that guys aren't even aware of...it's honestly like Pokemon.
But, it sounds to me like you've never told the GG about CDing. If you really like her, why not throw it out there? You know, you might not find a lot of women spending time in chatrooms or cybering...or, whatever the Hell it is that guys do when they aren't getting laid on the regular. But, we DO enjoy sex just as much as men...but, we generally just don't have to be in places to look very hard for it. So, women can be just as kinky as a guy sending you pics of his d*ck via email...and, honestly, probably more original. If you are scared of women, you'll never actually know OR find a woman that is into CDing. It's my understanding that there are a lot of curious girls out there...but, I'm not going to take pics of my nipple to talk dirty to guy online when I know I can go find someone IRL. But, I tend to like things in person, or dirty texting stuff that is about to happen in person/building it up. I think that a lot of people enjoy Internet romance and it's a different thing all together than face-to-face interaction, so you may want to keep that in mind. It could be that you're into kinky internet talk with men and those thoughts, but you may not actually have the same experience IRL. There's nothing wrong with Internet play, and it's a lot safer than just sleeping with randos...so, I'm not hating.
I am actually secure enough in my trust for my partner that I don't actually feel threatened by the idea she may be attracted to either men or women. Being bi isn't automatic permission to date two people at once. Some couples seem to make it work, but only if it is talked over a LOT. If the husband of a supposedly hetero relationship is gay, there is a whole 'nother fish to fry.Quote:
Originally Posted by seanmuscle
Sean, are you sure all men would be okay with being used? I can see some not enjoying it.
Ugh...THANK YOU! I've said this until I am blue in the face.Quote:
Originally Posted by Babeba
I don't think liking d*ck makes you bisexual...but, I'm also not about what sean was saying with this gradual transition into becoming more gay. I'm pretty sure there are a lot of guys out there that like d*ck, but aren't turned on by guys. So, they aren't bisexual. Having a d*ck fetish doesn't put you on some sort of path to gay...it probably just means you have a thing about d*cks. There a lot of girls that like boobs...there are a lot of girls that like booties...but, I wouldn't say they are on a path to becoming lesbians lol.
Lastly, I'm pretty sure most girls just don't like the idea of their partner thinking about someone else other than them. So, if a guy has a thing for d*cks, but a girl doesn't have one...it could be like, "Oh my GOD! He is thinking about cheating on me." But, probably not.
It's entirely normal to still be attracted to different people other than your SO...so, bisexuals just are attracted to different people, including those of the same sex. Not a whole lot different. In the end, I'm still faithful to my SO. But, I think most people in committed relationships don't like to think about their SO being attracted to anyone else...but, that's a bit impossible unless you are asexual. So, the idea that GGs deny some sort of attraction that their SOs have for other people is understandable to me...many don't want to think their guy can be attracted to anyone else (man or woman). And, for the record, many of my gay friends have been in long-term committed relationships...and, I can say without a doubt that they get into squabbles when they think their partner is attracted to someone other than them. (Oh my God! It's like gay people are real people too!!)
So, sean...it's not the thought that their man likes men that is very threatening...I think a lot of it is the hurt that her man is attracted (or even pursuing) someone other than her. And, women aren't dumb...we know guys are attracted to other people just as much as we are. We just are more vocal in our dislike of it. But, I don't even like to say that because of all of the dramatic fights I have seen with my gay friends...it's weird that they fight like real couples... ;) (sarcasm)
You said that in another post and I kinda scratched my head. Not that I don't believe you (maybe it's different among the current generation of women) but I don't know a lot of women who get off on other women's boobs or butts unless they ARE lesbian.Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
But, I have noticed a trend now that didn't exist when I was in my 20s. Some of the younger women in nightclubs are dancing together in a hot way that suggests they are lesbian. I know someone who does this. She's about 25, gorgeous, and single. And I know she's not lesbian. I've met two of her boyfriends. But, I'll tell you that when she and her friends grind together on the dance floor you can see all the guys in the place just drooling over them. It's a riot to watch! So I always took it that she and her friends do this to entice the guys.
I wonder how much attraction this has to CDers. I'm sure drawn into this quote. It would seem to fulfill many outstanding issues.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
This has been a great, enlightening thread. I totally relate to toni_62's position, and Reine's statements about the major difference between fantasizing about being with a man and being with a man in reality is spot on. Here is the predicament, in my mind which makes me feel like sex for a CD of this type with a male is ultimately unfulfilling. (Please, if you see flaws in this logic let me know.)
Take a hetero male CD who enjoys "using" a male to feel more fully feminine (like myself):
1) The feminine illusion is broken for the CD once the encounter progresses towards sex if the CD is "uncovered".
2) Remaining "covered" means not being able be completely satisfied for the CD.
3) Even if remaining covered (and therefor not completely satisfied) was an option, most males who are interested in CDs in the first place would be frustrated with the CD remaining covered.
This logic has sort of lead me to the conclusion that any encounter with a male for this CD will ultimately end in frustration for one or both parties. Please prove me wrong!
I've seen it opined that as soon as a man consciously partakes in a homosexual act*, he's gay and it's irreversible. They think that bisexuality in men is a farce, and that even one homosexual action is the gateway to exclusively participating in homosexual actions.. only that the guy in question may not know it yet. Of course, to these guys, lesbian sex is "OMG HAWT" and they don't mind what I'll simply call "fakebian" activities by women they find attractive....Quote:
Originally Posted by Shananigans
As both a crossdresser and an LGBTQ friend/supporter, statement like those about men really make me upset. It's a very narrow-minded and hurtful thing to say.
Not necessarily getting off, but I've observed online communities where the women were not only more comfortable with sending other women provocative (if not outright naked) photos, but the 2-3 women who mainly received these photos both bragged about being in a position to receive such photos and willingly discussed/ogled said photos (although this was usually done in general terms and in ways that kept the senders' privacy intact).Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
I've also seen where a woman will just post a pic on Instagram or even Facebook, and many/most of the compliments came from women. And these weren't the "that polish shade is fantastic, what's it called?" variety but the more primal "daaaaaaamn you fine" variety.
I've also seen the suggestive dancing in nightclubs or bars, the girl in me usually wants to join in but the prevailing guy in me says no :(
If I'd taken a different path I think I would have been female pretty much full-time:)
However, like most of us, life very rarely follows the path that we had once hoped for.
I'm (mostly) happy being a straight guy, in a 20+ year marriage with a family. However my female personality would most likely prefer to be in 'different' type of relationship!
But, as I have said, we all have to make choices, and some we will regret and some we will thank our lucky stars that it turned out OK!
If I could, I would indulge that other part of me, but my choice is to be in a heterosexual, long term partnership, besides which, I'm getting too old for all that saucy business:D
I guess just do what feels right for you?.....god I hope that doesn't sound too cliched:heehee:
I've seen posts from CDers who are gay or bi, and they obviously don't have issues being with men when they're dressed and when the clothes come off. But then gay and bi men enjoy being with men in guy mode too. I haven't seen many posts from the hetero CDers who've actually tried it. The ones who have say that it wasn't for them, I'm assuming because they discovered they aren't into men. But maybe you have a point, maybe being in a situation to the point where the clothes come off and the maleness shines through turns them off as well and ruins the feeling of being femme.Quote:
Originally Posted by alter_3
But most of the posts I've seen from CDers who say they're hetero while in guy mode but "bi" when dressed, are NOT about having been with men and loving it. They're about wanting to be with men, or being attracted to men, or being willing to go out for dinner and dancing with men, or maybe just kissing men but no more. And again I'm guessing all these fantasies don't follow through to the point of imagining two male-bodied people having sex. If they did, I imagine the fantasy wouldn't be fun anymore. Or if the fantasies follow through to intimacy, I gather in the fantasy the CDer would have a vagina?
As a GG, I have no trouble believing that both men and women can be either same-sex attracted, opposite-sex attracted, both-sex attracted, or neither-sex attracted (asexual). But you bring up a good point too. Do most hetero men feel that if a man is attracted to both men and women this means he is gay? If so, then they are wrong.Quote:
Originally Posted by Dani xo
Let me ask you. Were these lesbian communities, or were there male members as well? In other words, were these women bragging about this in front of men? You do know, don't you, that women are fully aware that men get off on seeing lesbian sex? Same with the instagrams. Isn't this an app to upload pics to social sites where the friends are both male and female? :DQuote:
Originally Posted by Dani xo
With all due respect, I think it's a rather strong CD fantasy to believe that a lot of women are into each other sexually. I don't know if this is what you're saying, and of course there are some women who are bi (just as there are bi men), but the hetero women that I know simply are not turned on by seeing each other's body parts, no more than a hetero man is turned on by seeing another man's body parts.
But, I can see hetero women complimenting each other on their bodies in acknowledgement of one another's assets, but not in the way you think. This would be more in line with "oh yeah, you've got a nice body, you shouldn't have any trouble finding a boyfriend".
Mixed company, both in the community and on Instagram (which is a community within itself, that I've had to re-depart after I sold my iPad). I know women know that men at-large find lesbian acts attractive. I'm no different and given my attractions I posted in my first post here, I also don't mind if either or both partners are trans.Quote:
Originally Posted by ReineD
Agree w/the second statement - many nights spent on Bourbon St. one summer showed me how, and how many, guys break their necks when they see two women putting on the show, whether it be friends on a dancefloor or paid employees doing some more suggestive stuff in a club window (or heaven forbid, an actual lesbian couple! :D). I don't think a lot of women or even a sizable portion of them are into each other sexually - to me, it's always funny when the aforementioned actions stop, and the circle of guys that forms is all like "wait, that's it?"
I see hetero women compliment each other in the full spectrum of nice things you could tell someone. From "I've never seen you in that color, it looks great on you!" to "those shoes are fantastic, where'd you get them?" to... I could start a new topic just with all the examples I've seen - such innocuous compliments aren't a big deal imo. It's the same with us here - we CDs compliment each other here, not in the sense of "ooh, I want her" but in more re-affirming tones and sentiments.
sallys you are so right i should know i have never regreted going down the road i am on being a trans gendered male it feels so right to me and has enhanced my life so much that i wish i had the courage to have done it sooner.nice to have heard from you sweetheart. davinax
I would NEVER ever consider sending pics of my junk, to either women or men! It is lude, rude, and low life tattooed!
Spandexgirl. I think you've hit it on the head with your comments about feeling good when a guy treats you like a woman when you're en femme, and how you like checking guys out when you're dressed. There's a lot of talk in the thread about things like penetration. I don't know if I want to go that route, but the idea of being dressed en femme and being held by a guy, dancing, talking, etc., that's nice.
I've seen girls dancing together in provocative ways, and I agree, that doesn't mean they are lesbians. More likely they are comfortable (or doing what you think your friend is doing and torturing the guys). I think one great difference between how women act with other women and how men act with men is that while men may be raised to be more comfortable being nude in front of other men (locker room stuff), women are much more comfortable talking about the others' appearances and even touching. Think of things as simple as a woman putting suntan lotion on another's back at the beach, or helping with trying on clothes, or fixing hair. Straight guys (well, present company excepted) would never do those things. Straight woman are fine with it.
Interesting stuff this thread has brought out eh?
:)
It's important if you're confused to separate the sex and the penis from the men and see if you can appreciate their bodies.
Are you attracted to his face? His form?
Can you see yourself in bed with him in male mode?
Out on a date in male mode?
As it was said earlier, it's okay to love the c**ck and there are tons of toys for you and a girl to play with if you're not attracted to men.
It's also good to note that not all gay/bi men are into anal sex either, or can even physically have it as is in my case as well.
So don't equate wanting to be passive/receptive with being gay, that is unfortunately society's fault for making men think that it's not okay to feel that way.
I agree completely with you, whowhatwhen.
It does seem that women can be allowed more to "play" than men without being called lesbians. I think this is the classic nightclub example that Reine brought up. These girls probably aren't lesbians, but it's OK for them to express sexuality towards women. It's considered hot when two girls kiss...and, obviously, they like it or they wouldn't do it. But, in my experience, these girls experimenting aren't lesbian. I've had women attracted to me...no one has fetishized me over a particular body part that I know of...but, turned out they were just exploring.
It's not as socially accepted for guys to do this. If two guys are bumping and grinding on the dance floor, a lot of people just assume they are gay and bumping uglies.
It sucks to suck.
And, for whatever reason "submissive" and "gay" have been lumped together and they are Completely unrelated.
However, at the same time, it's not a lot easier for women that are actually lesbian or bi. It seems acceptable to mess around with a girl, but at the end of the day you're kind of expected to end up with a dude. So, the denial of men I think gets a little hostility. Thus, we have the lesbian stereotypes...and, bisexual people are just wh*res.
I hope the OP finds some happy medium in her sexuality. There's no reason to limit yourself these days...and, I think if you honestly aren't attracted to men, you probably shouldn't expect a LT relationship with one. You could hook up, but you also have to realize someone is attached to the other end of the penis.
I'd just have fun, be safe, and if I became uncomfortable with a situation I would end it. However, as a GG, I'm conditioned to be very avoidant of situations that could possibly be uncomfortable with men when sex is involved. It seems that it has been shown that things don't generally end well when you suddenly decide you aren't into the guy. So, I'd just be smart...be safe..:especially if I just knew the guy online. Who knows how he is IRL. I also wouldn't let stereotypes affect me decisions of who I date...and, I'd be aware that technology today is amazing and you don't need a man to have a penis.
So this thread has me wondering if some CD'ers want the long term relationship with their GG's, but also be with one night (or one hour) hook ups with men because the long term relationships with men are few and far between?