Well, the employee involved here already has
a reputation for talking behind ones back and spreading rumours, it was one of the reasons I chose to call him on this incident. Though, I am not sure if he knows, it was I who reported it.
All I know at this time is that my HR manager has spoken with the two parties involved, the one who made the comments and my so called supportive co-worker. I suppose I will be called and informed with the results of the investigation soon.
I am usually one who ignores most comments that are directed to me, but this one I felt needed to be addressed. I have the support of the HR to appear the way I have been, as it does not violate the dress code and it was their suggestion if anyone made negative comments directly or indirectly, to come to them as it comes under the sexual harassment policy.
Like I said I chose this incident to report as it was one where I know the person is one who spreads gossip and rumours to hurt people. :battingeyelashes:
Thanks Nicki, Katie, Britney and others, thanks for the encouraging words..
Anyway a little update, my HR manager spoke with my supportive co-worker yesterday and he disavowed saying anything to me and doesn't recall any incident. I'm disappopinted with him, but now know I can't rely on him in the future for anything, changes the dynamics of our friendship somewhat. But my HR manager still wants to talk with me anyway, more likely to hear my side of the story firsthand. She has probably spoken with the other people and gauged their response's to her questions and now she wants to hear my side of the story and see my response's. All I can say to her questions is, "Why would I say something that I can't prove, unless I thought I had support".
Needless to say, This incident will be part of mine and their's permanent record, so if something like this happens again, it could cause more issues for them..then for me.. No matter what I believe I did the right thing. And I want to thank all of my Sisters for their encouraging words and thoughtful insights, but mostly I appreciate the encouraging words. Love Kimberly :battingeyelashes:
This kind of happened to my brother, he blew
the whistle at a government job over some issue, he was told by his friends they would support him, but when it came time to back him up they all backed off and offered no support. My brother was run down by government politics, and was black listed for like 12 years now. They have kept him on the job but don't give him any real reponsibiltities.
Seems that friends rarely support you when you need them. They are too afraid to speak up, they are afraid to lose whatever they think they will lose.. in this case I have learned the same lesson. It's a shame when you find that your friends are two-faced and will abandon you in your hour of need. Then they come to you later and say sorry, but I couldn't risk supporting you as I could lose such and such.. :battingeyelashes:
Since I will be out of town again next week, the
resolution to this matter will be in another week, when HR will talk to me directly about the incident. Up to now communication has been thru email and phone.. Again I appreciate all the insightful thoughts and all the encouraging words of support. Love Kimberly :battingeyelashes:
Maybe it is time to close this thread
I am not a mod nor do I want to pretend to be.
Yet as my simple mind sees this, there are 5,000 views of this thread. Obviously it has garnered a lot of attention. It is starting to look like most of us have not joined in this discussion because it has degenerated into a tit for tat exchange by different personalities. I am all for discussion of subjects like this.
But in this case, I think the topic of interest is becoming diluted by a discussion that is not getting anywhere.
I will have to add my opinion for the sake of clarity. I believe Marcy will not listen to anyone or wants to think or reflect upon what others are saying. No one will change her mind. I also think she is becoming increasingly aggressive and dismissive of others' viewpoints. I also believe others have been patient in making their points and trying to lay out what I think are pretty reasonable positions.
Although I am sure everyone is interested in what happens with Kimberly's case, maybe she could just open another thread later and let us know what happens. I would not want to see her valiant efforts at work and her honest search for advice obscured in a thread that becomes a clash of personalities.
If the thread is closed soon, I want to offer my
heartfelt thank you, to all my sisters who offered their kind advice and words of encouragement. You all know who you are, you have given me support and encouragement and I would be proud to call you all my friends. As I won't be able to talk with my HR Manager till next Monday, I will not know the complete resolution to this incident till then. If this thread is closed, I will open a new one referencing this thread, to allow me to update my friends.
To some critics, I do indeed accept responsibility for how I dress and will accept the comments and ridicule, but sometimes you need to deal with certain people. Not all of the people but some, you need to pick your battle's. This is how change is brought about and for my friends here they understand. You can't just hide, be afraid and hope things change. You need to go out, learn, adapt and grow as a person.
As for supportive friends who withdraw their support, that always hurts. But, when they offer their support to your face and then several day's later say "I don't know what your talking about" and deny everything. That is wrong, but I will remain friends with him. As a loud critic said "he doesn't need to give his support", but he offered it and backed off, that hurts.
Again, I thank all my friends and they know who they are. You all may PM me later after Feb 16th to find out what the resolution of this thread will be..Or you can PM to say Hi anytime..
Love Kimberly, :battingeyelashes::battingeyelashes:
Spoke with my HR Rep today about this incident.
As my co-worker friend who said he'd support me backed out and denied saying anything, I really have no foot to stand on as I did not hear the comments directly.
Anyway, I told her what was told to me by Johnny, my co-worker friend. I further stated I did not want the other employee fired etc as he is entitled to his opinion, my HR manager said he may be entitiled to his opinion but he should restrain his comments, especially when given to outside vendors. She agreed with me that the comments, beside's being demeaning to me can also impinge on the companies reputation. She asked if anyone else may have heard the comments, I mentioned that if the DP manager was in his office at the time he may have heard the comments. But I stated since I was not present I cannot say with 100% certainty.
She further stated that she will talk with the offending employee and will try to determine if comments were made regarding me and to remind him of the sexual harassment and diversity policies. A notation will be put in everyones file to document the investigation. She further reminded me that no employee should be making derogatory comments to me, that I have the right to work in a comfortable enviroment. She also reiterated the companies dress code to let me know what is acceptable attire for either Male or female employee's to wear. She mentioned that I could wear either attire as long as it met the companies dress code. I am going to follow-up with her to see what she meant, to be sure. It may be a green light to dress in skirts or dress's, but I will see. Otherwise, it was a good meeting.
Kimberly :battingeyelashes:
