Now I Know I can never tell my wife

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Originally Posted by kellyanne

I dated the most liberal woman in the world in my 20s & 30s - a proud supporter of transgender and gay acceptance 100 % ... except of course if it was her boyfriend.

I have met women who tolerate transvestism as a means to an end but none who accept it.

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It is called the good girl effect. Women are raised with the notion that females should always go out of their way to support and understand others, especially those who really need or deserve help. The more deprived or disadvantaged the persons, the more brownie points are gained in supporting them. This translates into higher social status amongst women.

However in private matters women are still subject to believing in and desiring the idealized, sexist package of the masculine man as the optimal partner, while effeminate males are considered substandard and undesirable.

Normally this discrepancy does not reveal itself as most men try to follow the guidelines of masculinity to make themselves attractive to women. CDs are the exception and by breaking the rules we reveal the motivation behind the good girl effect.

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Originally Posted by Satrana

However in private matters women are still subject to believing in and desiring the idealized, sexist package of the masculine man as the optimal partner, while effeminate males are considered substandard and undesirable.

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How sexist is that statement :Angry3::Angry3::Angry3::Angry3:

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Originally Posted by Satrana

However in private matters women are still subject to believing in and desiring the idealized, sexist package of the masculine man as the optimal partner, while effeminate males are considered substandard and undesirable.

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Bit of an expert are you Satrana?

You do talk crap sometimes :brolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Senban

StephanieT said - "My wife then said she had a real problem with this CD."

Just for clarification, are we talking specifically about this CD or about CD in general?

StephanieT said -"I guess I will be in the closet with my wife forever."

Get a different wife. I'm serious. A marriage where you have to live a lie rather than be accepted for who you are isn't a marriage. Start by trying to gradually educate your wife s-l-o-w-l-y. But be prepared for the fact that sooner or later she'll turn round and ask if there's something you're trying to tell her because all the clues will be adding up in her mind. But sooner or later you have to live life for yourself as well as others (dual-life balance).

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I didn't get a different wife but I certainly did get a divorce from the one who refused to accept this part of me. I existed in a "I know what you do and do not like it and never want to see it" relationship for 23 years. I was called sick, pervert, and gay by the very person that I thought loved me but I was wrong. This marriage was one of mutual convienence and there was no love between us. The divorce that I filed for was long and bitter and resulted in her outing me to all of my relatives and everyone else that I knew. I never could understand her refusal to accept this part of me but after 23 years of me trying to make her understand I gave up trying. We are both much happier now living our seperate lives.

Before I got married CDing was just a small part of my life so it never entered my mind that I might want to share this with my SO.

As time goes on I want more and more to be femm. ..

Now that we have built a great life together and have children I don't want to do anything to jeopardize the life I have made for wife kids or my wife I love them all so much and would do anything for them. Half of the time I feel like I should stop this because I know what it most likely break that life and I couldn't bear that. however something keeps bringing me back..

/sigh.. Sorry for the jabbering, not sure I made a point..

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Originally Posted by Katie B

Can you quote research evidence for this, or is it just an opinion? I've seen assertions to the contrary.

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Well it is not rocket science to see how the majority of men in public arena who are considered handsome and desirable are masculine and yes this has been backed up by studies. For example:
http://news.softpedia.com/news/Women...ds-43425.shtml

Women are generally sexually attracted to all the standard masculine clues that our society promotes even though they assume such men are less likely to be a faithful and reliable partner. So they end up compromising their idealized sexual attraction to team up with an effeminate man who they hope will be more reliable and a better parent.

I doubt if there is much correlation between how good your partner is based upon their masculinity/femininity but that is the perception that is out there.

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Originally Posted by deborah jane

You do talk crap sometimes

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Thank you for your invaluable contribution

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Originally Posted by Satrana

http://news.softpedia.com/news/Women...ds-43425.shtml

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Well that article is over 2 years old .................... don't say when the research was done but even if it had been fairly recent to the article ..... after all the Data had been collected, then checked then analized it is fairly safe to assume the stats are about 3 years old minimum and then

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The researchers presented to [SIZE="4"]854 male and female subjects [/SIZE][SIZE="4"]male head [/SIZE]pictures that were digitally altered to exaggerate or decrease masculine traits

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the fact that the pics were shown to both sexes and conclusions drawn on that proves nothing, the numbers are minute and the genders making the choices mixed, make the assumption that WOMEN prefer one or the other totaly inaccurate

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Originally Posted by Sheila

Well that article is over 2 years old

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And? What changes have happened in society in the last couple of years that would invalidate their findings?

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the numbers are minute

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No they are in a standard range which is recognized as being large enough to produce results +/- 3%. In fact, in statistics any sample size above 40 is regarded as being sufficient to detect statistical correlations.

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make the assumption that WOMEN prefer one or the other totaly inaccurate

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Without the data how can you state this? Are the trillion dollar fashion/advertising/entertainment industries also wrong when they use masculine men to market their products to women instead of using effeminate men? These industries do their own extensive research on what traits women view as desirable in men. Is everyone wrong?

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Originally Posted by Satrana

And? What changes have happened in society in the last couple of years that would invalidate their findings?

No they are in a standard range which is recognized as being large enough to produce results +/- 3%. In fact, in statistics any sample size above 40 is regarded as being sufficient to detect statistical correlations.

Without the data how can you state this? Are the trillion dollar fashion/advertising/entertainment industries also wrong when they use masculine men to market their products to women instead of using effeminate men? These industries do their own extensive research on what traits women view as desirable in men. Is everyone wrong?

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[SIZE="4"]The researchers presented to 854 male [SIZE="4"]and[/SIZE] female subjects male head pictures that were digitally altered to exaggerate or decrease masculine traits[/SIZE]

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did u deliberately choose to ignore the fact thar the pictures were shown to both sexes and the resulting conclusions were based on the data collected therin........... thereby invalidating the statement" THAT Women Prefer Masculine Males for Affairs and Effeminate Ones as Husbands"

You honestly think the University did not separate the male and female responses in order to specify what traits women found attractive? This is not a magazine survey to titillate its readership, it is a scientific study. So unless you know something different we can assume they only considered female responses when they reported on female behavior.

The report also states that this backs up a British study which reached the same conclusions.

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Originally Posted by Satrana

And? What changes have happened in society in the last couple of years that would invalidate their findings?

No they are in a standard range which is recognized as being large enough to produce results +/- 3%. In fact, in statistics any sample size above 40 is regarded as being sufficient to detect statistical correlations.

Without the data how can you state this? Are the trillion dollar fashion/advertising/entertainment industries also wrong when they use masculine men to market their products to women instead of using effeminate men? These industries do their own extensive research on what traits women view as desirable in men. Is everyone wrong?

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[SIZE="4"]said study's author,[/SIZE] Daniel Kruger at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health.

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The author states and nowhere in the article did it state that they seperated the results NOWHERE

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Originally Posted by deborah jane

You do talk crap sometimes :brolleyes:

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Originally Posted by Satrana

Thank you for your invaluable contribution

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Thank you :)