Originally Posted by
Shananigans
Hey, Brandy, I didn't mean to offend...let me set what I am saying straight. As I have said, I enjoy the D/S roles. However, these roles stay in the bedroom. We do not take them beyond the bedroom. (Although it could be argued that I am a very domineering and aggressive person outside of the bedroom when it comes to other things like work). I personally think that living in that submissive relationship to a person 24/7 IS dumb. Again, it's my opinion. (And, opinion are like a**holes, I know, and everyone's got one). But, I don't know how you go about your daily life or what your relationship is. I agree that what happens in the bedroom isn't "forced" submission. Whoever is in that role wants it.
What I am talking about is having that roleplaying go on 24/7 in your everyday life. For my SO and I it is very much roleplaying. Emphasis on the "playing" and that's why it is fun and exciting.
However, I must point out that you say that you freely love doing things for the lady you love...maybe your idea of D/S is different from what we do. It's not like I'm saying, "Baby, can you please take out the trash for me?" And, he does it and that is making him submissive. No, that's just being courteous and in a relationship. That's not submission.
And, I still stand by my grounds that if you are groveling to a person and submitting to their every whim 24/7 that it IS disturbing. I just personally don't find that to be a healthy relationship. I also think it's unfair of you to lump every CD into that category of being totally submissive. I'm sorry, but this just isn't true. I see a trend with a lot of CDs wanting it in the bedroom, but I don't see many saying that they want to live their lives in total submission.
Again, I am making a lot of assumptions here. I don't know personally what you do in your everyday life for your SO. Personality wise, sure, I would say I am the "domineering" one in my relationship. But, by THAT domineering and bedroom domineering...completely different story. And, I don't encourage Ryan to tap into his submissive behaviors in our everyday relationship. Even though I may be the more dominant one naturally, I put him on my level as my equal. I do stuff for him and he does stuff for me...not because I'm dominant or he's submissive...just because we love each other. And, if THAT'S what you are talking about, I think that's perfectly normal. If not...then I am confused. I don't want to offend you and I don't judge you, but I am for expressing my viewpoints. If I have misinterpreted what you are saying, please let me know. Either in PM or on here. :hugs: