Is there a connection..crossdressing and being submissive?

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

Maybe the connection is that when we were growing up, it was always Daddy as the head of household. The housewife more or less submitted to her husband. So maybe our wanting to be submissive to a GG is a subconscious desire to be like the way it was when we were growing up.

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Well, not in my case. My father was locked up somewhere most of my childhood before he disappeared for good. My mother worked to support us and my sisters and I were raised mostly by our physically abusive grandmother. There were no men in my life at all except for peripheral characters. I choose not to psychoanalyze it any more because no matter what happened in the past, you could spin it to explain the present - just like we have two totally different stories right here with the same outcome. The real question is "do I like my life the way it is?" and the answer is: Yes! Absolutely!:D

An interesting thread that raises all sorts of questions. Unsurprisingly I suppose a lot of those questions would seem to come back to assumptions about gender and gender roles.

I would guess that the answer to the question posed would have to be, for some yes, for others no. I wonder if there is a generational element for some, especially those who grew up in an era when there was a cultural expectation that women would be submissive and obedient.

For myself it seems the other way round, my masculine side was never particularly dominant or confrontational, though stubborn and doggedly determined, however my feminine side is outgoing, extroverted, quite argumentative, and easily exasperated.

I could see myself playing a dominatrix role in a relationship, but not asubmisive role.

I would hazzard a guess that CD's TG's TS's are no more likely to be dominant or submissive than other groups in society, but that when they are it plays a role in why or more likely how they dress. :)

I'm pretty submissive...

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Originally Posted by Jo_Larens

Personally, I would rather be in a relationship in which both parties share responsibilities and "power" equally. then again, i'm a socialist and think damn near everything should be equal.

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See, now this to me is the ideal and a very, very cool 21st century mindset.

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

Annaliese, I'm sorry, I have to disagree wiht you. If it is my desire to always be submissive to the lady I love, then there is nothing wrong with it. I don't think you understand exactly what a loving D/s relationship is all about. Notice I said "loving"

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Your point is well taken. But I'm guessing your the exception i.e. to find what I assume to be long term happiness & balance in such a skewed relationship. You do realize though that you put yourself at a serious disadvantage. How do you know she's not goin out on you? Or more to the point perhaps, would you care? I mean where does one draw the line?

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I also disagree with you saying no one respects anyone who gives and gives. My Lady has the highest respect for me I could possibly have from a women. She does not use and abuse me. She loves me and realizes the gift of submission I freely give to her.

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Are you SURE about that? Just wondering...

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No it is not intrinsically weak and demeaning for me at all. If it was, I'd have nothing to do with it. In fact, it is my belief that it takes a strong man to give of himself so selflessly to a woman he loves.

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I used to think that, experience has taught me otherwise.

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How simple can this be...She gives me exactly what I want and I give her exactly what she wants. We are happy and will continue to be happy the way things are.

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Hope so. IMO there is nothing sure or 'good' in this world. And there's nothing safe in this world.

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It's only demeaning when it is forced upon someone. Like the way some men control a woman. Yes, even some CD's. And sadly, some women are so beaten into submission (not necessarily literally) with hurtful words, threats and insults from those men, that they become to weak to leave it.

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Or the way some women control abuse and beat to a pulp some men. Ouch! That's why I became transgendered in fact. Got fcin tired of it. Decided if I can't win em, might as well join em! What's the big deal. I take great delight knowing how I'm hotter than the GG's who've fcd me over. And I say this with true humbleness & humility. Lol...

Well, I always secretly wished my girl friends would ask me to put on a pair of tight panties or something tight and stretchy that only females can wear and be like "You need a good spanking" or something along the lines of BDSM, with me tied up.....
:o

All though I was always to shy to talk about such things to my past girl friends, fearing judgement. Ideally, she'd want me to do the same thing to her, but want to do it to me just as often.....

So yes, I think along the the lines of the first poster there is a connection.

But im not a submissive person, I've always taken charge in the bedroom, but its a turn on to not always have to.

Edit:
Oh and wanted to add, I've never had girl friend who came up with that specific fantasy above on her own unfortunately...

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Originally Posted by Annaliese2010

See, now this to me is the ideal and a very, very cool 21st century mindset.

Your point is well taken. But I'm guessing your the exception i.e. to find what I assume to be long term happiness & balance in such a skewed relationship. You do realize though that you put yourself at a serious disadvantage. How do you know she's not goin out on you? Or more to the point perhaps, would you care? I mean where does one draw the line?

Are you SURE about that? Just wondering...
I don't see me at a serious disadvantage at all. You don't know the depth of our commitment to each other and what honor, loyalty means to each of us. As for me knowing that she is not going out on me, that's simple to answer. She is the most honest and loyal person that I've ever known. She is one of the most honorable individuals that I've ever known. Further, if she was going out on me, it would crush me, just as if anyone equal, Dominant or submissive would crush me. I love her, so it would definitely be the end of the relationship just as it would be for many that would feel the rejection or deceit from a partner.
We drew the line a lone time ago. Be open, be honest, be loyal, be faithful and respectful of each other. Because she is the dominant one in our relationship and I submit to her, does not give her a license to break those simple boundaries we put on each other willfully.

I used to think that, experience has taught me otherwise.

Sorry your experience was not good. Perhaps you picked the wrong partner(s), or it was just a game for you and your partner(s) If you had experience in a loving D/s relationship, maybe you let yourself become a doormat to be walked on by someone less honorable that used you and cheated on you with little regard for your wellbeing. Of course that happen in even so called equal relationships.

Hope so. IMO there is nothing sure or 'good' in this world. And there's nothing safe in this world.

To bad you feel that way. Sad that you can't trust someone or have someone as loyal as the Lady I have been blessed in finding as my life partner. I feel sorry for anyone who thinks this way.

Or the way some women control abuse and beat to a pulp some men. Ouch! That's why I became transgendered in fact. Got fcin tired of it. Decided if I can't win em, might as well join em! What's the big deal. I take great delight knowing how I'm hotter than the GG's who've fcd me over. And I say this with true humbleness & humility. Lol...

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So you were abused, cheated on and used and that's why you became transgendered????????? Never heard a worse reason in my life. It sounds liek you were really hurt by a woman somewhere along the path if life. I feel sorry for you.

I can't say that I agree with the premise that CDs are looking for submissiveness especially that found in a D/S relationship. I think the answer is more about CDs having the heavy male burden of responsibility removed from their shoulders leaving them free to explore the whimsical fun aspects of femininity.

I know many men do not feel they have a natural inclination to be a dominant, authoritative, decision-making partner. It is a role we are forced to play but does not feel comfortable. I think as young boys this male role can seem especially daunting and this is what kick-starts the idea of being a girl. Put on a skirt and I will not be picked on, will not have to fight, will not have to prove my worth, will not have to test my courage, will not have to lead, will not have to make decisions etc.

This is not submissiveness rather it is about not wanting to be the leader and feeling free to choose and wanting the same freedom for others. I am an independent person who hates taking orders but at the same time feels I have no right to order anyone else just because I am male.

I would concur that when the CDing is focused on sexual fantasies then the perceived submissiveness of the female role is indeed acted out and this may in turn lead to exploration of BDSM activites. So there is a link to the secondary sexual fetish behavior but not to the origins of why we became CDers in the first place.

i love beining the submissive one, as gina grew in a lot of ways our roles reversed, it still seems i still do all the hard guy jobs around the house to . but when we first met and datet i truly was the alpha dog out door construcion worker type, slow over time gina grew and we became true partners in life and in love

submissive, not in the same universe

Im a laid back kind of person, I lead my friends when its necessary. Or bite instead of barking at people.

I don't think I am predominately sub or Dom, I think it is fun to trade off :)
I don't admire weak. But I also dislike people pushing their prowess upon others.

So this is an area of slight conflict for me.

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Originally Posted by Pythos

I don't think I am predominately sub or Dom, I think it is fun to trade off :)
I don't admire weak. But I also dislike people pushing their prowess upon others.

So this is an area of slight conflict for me.

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Hi Pythos, So in your view a submissive is weak? I don't agree. As for someone pushing their prowess on another, I assume you mean in a way that the submissive has not agreed to respond to. Yes, there are some very cruel people, both male and female that abuse and use a submissive in a very unhealthy way for the submissive. I am not tolerant of that either. I especially do not like most male Doms that I have run into and the way they treat a GG female submissive. To many males are into the lifestyle for the wrong reasons and unfortunately their are some GG females with low self esteem that tolerate it. Yes, it happens with GG Dommes too, but far less.
My Dominant is not only a Dominant, but we are in love with each other. She pushes nothing on me. I submit to her freely and willingly and love making her life easier and hopefully better. Her love care and sincere concern for me makes my life better. It works for us and we are very happy in the interaction we share between us. I feel like the luckiest CD and man in the world. She is a dream come true for me.

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

Hi Pythos, So in your view a submissive is weak? I don't agree. As for someone pushing their prowess on another, I assume you mean in a way that the submissive has not agreed to respond to. Yes, there are some very cruel people, both male and female that abuse and use a submissive in a very unhealthy way for the submissive. I am not tolerant of that either. I especially do not like most male Doms that I have run into and the way they treat a GG female submissive. To many males are into the lifestyle for the wrong reasons and unfortunately their are some GG females with low self esteem that tolerate it. Yes, it happens with GG Dommes too, but far less.
My Dominant is not only a Dominant, but we are in love with each other. She pushes nothing on me. I submit to her freely and willingly and love making her life easier and hopefully better. Her love care and sincere concern for me makes my life better. It works for us and we are very happy in the interaction we share between us. I feel like the luckiest CD and man in the world. She is a dream come true for me.

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My SO does enjoy being submissive, but we are both pretty flexible in our roles.

It's obvious that submission is prevalent in the CD community; however, I feel it's just a pretty common fantasy in general. I think a lot of men find a female in a powerful role sexually appealing...not just CDs.

But, in response to your original post. Sex is sex is sex. Sure, it's fun to role play and have a good time. But, do I want someone submissive 24/7? No. Do I want to boss someone around and make them my b*tch every chance I get? No. That's stupid. I generally like to date people with spines and someone that I actually respect.

I think that anyone who wants to be forced into submission and doing tasks for a dominant individual 24/7 is seriously emotionally disturbed and needs counseling.

Besides, it's much more fun to make a really proud man submissive than one that is just a lost little puppy from the get go. ;)

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Originally Posted by Shananigans

My SO does enjoy being submissive, but we are both pretty flexible in our roles.

It's obvious that submission is prevalent in the CD community; however, I feel it's just a pretty common fantasy in general. I think a lot of men find a female in a powerful role sexually appealing...not just CDs.

But, in response to your original post. Sex is sex is sex. Sure, it's fun to role play and have a good time. But, do I want someone submissive 24/7? No. Do I want to boss someone around and make them my b*tch every chance I get? No. That's stupid. I generally like to date people with spines and someone that I actually respect.

I think that anyone who wants to be forced into submission and doing tasks for a dominant individual 24/7 is seriously emotionally disturbed and needs counseling.

Besides, it's much more fun to make a really proud man submissive than one that is just a lost little puppy from the get go. ;)

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Hi Shananigans,

I agree with the first part of what you said. Up to the statement of "that's stupid" Having read many of your posts, I have come to like and respect you.
However, maybe I'm taking your statement to personal, or the wrong way.

At least wanting to set the record straight. First, it's your not wanting to boss somebody around 24/7 and make them your bitch.
See, this is your take, your understanding or view of what a D/s relationship is about. Believe me, it's not; Especially a loving D/s relationship.

Then you say anyone wanting to be "forced into submission" is seriously emotionally disturbed. My original post is not about being forced into anything. How can someone be forced into something they want?
I'm far from being forced into anything by anyone. I freely submit to the lady I love. I freely like doing things for her. I am not forced. I do not like the idea of anyone being forced to do anything they do not want to do. That includes any act of sex. And BTW, D/s is not all about sex anymore then being a Cd is all about sex. Sure, it can be a part of both... and I agree that it is high on most subs, and dominants list as it is for being on the minds of many Cds.

You use the term "making someone your b*tch" In the first place, I'm no one's bitch and never will be. But of course that could be a role play thing some get into. I understand that.

I further hope you did not mean that anyone that likes to be submissive to someone 24/7 is in serious need of counseling and is emotionally disturbs. That would be about as insulting and wrong as saying that most CDs need counseling and are emotionally disturbs.

As far as making a proud man a submissive then a whipped puppy, I'd have to agree with you there... And so would my Lady. I am very proud of who I am and no problem in being who and what I am....a honorable man, a crossdresser, a lover, and one that happens to enjoy my Lady being the dominant one in our everyday life.

I certainly hope you were not making a judgment of me personally and that I either misinterpreted your post or you did not word your thoughts correctly.

Brandy,

You seem to ignore something.

Society.

The only submissives I have met have had extremely low self esteem, are usually women that have been raised in a manner that makes their self worth very low unless they have "a man"

When I think submissive I don't think the terms you are saying, I am thinking of a person that essentially gives up their "rights" and go into abject misery, just so they can "serve" their partner.

I am curently mixed up with a girl that falls into that latter category. She is very submissive, and is often upset with how she is unhappy, but at least her lover is happy.

That sounds like a crummy relationship to me.

But when you talk to me you are talking to someone that finds men attracted to women that are bound up and helpless, to have a couple of screws loose.

Oh I know of the whole "trust" thing, but to me this is just taking it a bit far.

What doesn't help me is many of the styles of the bdsm community I like :)

The term "submissive" strikes me in the same manner as the work "sissy", though to a lesser extent.

Ah hell, why can't people just love one another without one domineering the other? LOL

On a side note, I accidentally came across a video on you tube with the word Scissors grip or something in the title.

Essentially a body stockinged female wraps her legs around some normal clothed dude, and proceeds to squeeze her legs and crush his neck. His head turns beat red, and he does not look like he is enjoying himself. But this is love? This makes absolutely no sense to me. Heck to me, this is disturbing. Then I saw the several other videos that were much the same, and with different people.

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Originally Posted by Pythos

Brandy,

You seem to ignore something.

Society.

The only submissives I have met have had extremely low self esteem, are usually women that have been raised in a manner that makes their self worth very low unless they have "a man"

When I think submissive I don't think the terms you are saying, I am thinking of a person that essentially gives up their "rights" and go into abject misery, just so they can "serve" their partner.

I am curently mixed up with a girl that falls into that latter category. She is very submissive, and is often upset with how she is unhappy, but at least her lover is happy.

That sounds like a crummy relationship to me.

But when you talk to me you are talking to someone that finds men attracted to women that are bound up and helpless, to have a couple of screws loose.

Oh I know of the whole "trust" thing, but to me this is just taking it a bit far.

What doesn't help me is many of the styles of the bdsm community I like :)

The term "submissive" strikes me in the same manner as the work "sissy", though to a lesser extent.

Ah hell, why can't people just love one another without one domineering the other? LOL

On a side note, I accidentally came across a video on you tube with the word Scissors grip or something in the title.

Essentially a body stockinged female wraps her legs around some normal clothed dude, and proceeds to squeeze her legs and crush his neck. His head turns beat red, and he does not look like he is enjoying himself. But this is love? This makes absolutely no sense to me. Heck to me, this is disturbing. Then I saw the several other videos that were much the same, and with different people.

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Not sure what you mean in my ignoring society. But let's just say I disagree since I am very aware of what society norms, expectations and limits society puts on all of us.

I have also met submissive GG's that seem to fit your description. The sad part is that they are not only submissive to some guy, but also abused, used and not highly thought of by the so called Dom they serve. It's sad.

Sorry you are mixed up in a relationship with a women like you describe. How sad. I'd say her lover is the one with a bigger problem since he uses her to get what he wants. Frankly, I am very suspicious of any so called dominant men and their motives. It sure as heck is not love for the majority of them.

Like you, I don't like the word sissy either. If anyone were to call me that, I'd deck them for sure. As for the word submissive, it is just to describe my desire to serve the lady I love in any manner she wishes. But I think I get it in what you mean. As for domineering...to me it is not the same thing as dominating someone. My Lady is not domineering, yet she is dominant in a very fair, loving way. We are equal in all respects other then who wears the pants so to speak. We both get out of the relationship what we both want. Now that's equal. lol

I just realized I left out.

I absolutely like the idea of mutual love between me and my future girlfriend.

I want her to do stuff not because she feels she must but because it is what she wishes.

I am all about empowering people, I really dislike hearing people saying "their purpose is to serve others, at the expense of themselves" There are only some few times this is a good thing in my eyes and one of those is when a heroic action is involved.

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Originally Posted by BRANDYJ

Hi Shananigans,

I agree with the first part of what you said. Up to the statement of "that's stupid" Having read many of your posts, I have come to like and respect you.
However, maybe I'm taking your statement to personal, or the wrong way.

At least wanting to set the record straight. First, it's your not wanting to boss somebody around 24/7 and make them your bitch.
See, this is your take, your understanding or view of what a D/s relationship is about. Believe me, it's not; Especially a loving D/s relationship.

Then you say anyone wanting to be "forced into submission" is seriously emotionally disturbed. My original post is not about being forced into anything. How can someone be forced into something they want?
I'm far from being forced into anything by anyone. I freely submit to the lady I love. I freely like doing things for her. I am not forced. I do not like the idea of anyone being forced to do anything they do not want to do. That includes any act of sex. And BTW, D/s is not all about sex anymore then being a Cd is all about sex. Sure, it can be a part of both... and I agree that it is high on most subs, and dominants list as it is for being on the minds of many Cds.

You use the term "making someone your b*tch" In the first place, I'm no one's bitch and never will be. But of course that could be a role play thing some get into. I understand that.

I further hope you did not mean that anyone that likes to be submissive to someone 24/7 is in serious need of counseling and is emotionally disturbs. That would be about as insulting and wrong as saying that most CDs need counseling and are emotionally disturbs.

As far as making a proud man a submissive then a whipped puppy, I'd have to agree with you there... And so would my Lady. I am very proud of who I am and no problem in being who and what I am....a honorable man, a crossdresser, a lover, and one that happens to enjoy my Lady being the dominant one in our everyday life.

I certainly hope you were not making a judgment of me personally and that I either misinterpreted your post or you did not word your thoughts correctly.

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Hey, Brandy, I didn't mean to offend...let me set what I am saying straight. As I have said, I enjoy the D/S roles. However, these roles stay in the bedroom. We do not take them beyond the bedroom. (Although it could be argued that I am a very domineering and aggressive person outside of the bedroom when it comes to other things like work). I personally think that living in that submissive relationship to a person 24/7 IS dumb. Again, it's my opinion. (And, opinion are like a**holes, I know, and everyone's got one). But, I don't know how you go about your daily life or what your relationship is. I agree that what happens in the bedroom isn't "forced" submission. Whoever is in that role wants it.

What I am talking about is having that roleplaying go on 24/7 in your everyday life. For my SO and I it is very much roleplaying. Emphasis on the "playing" and that's why it is fun and exciting.

However, I must point out that you say that you freely love doing things for the lady you love...maybe your idea of D/S is different from what we do. It's not like I'm saying, "Baby, can you please take out the trash for me?" And, he does it and that is making him submissive. No, that's just being courteous and in a relationship. That's not submission.

And, I still stand by my grounds that if you are groveling to a person and submitting to their every whim 24/7 that it IS disturbing. I just personally don't find that to be a healthy relationship. I also think it's unfair of you to lump every CD into that category of being totally submissive. I'm sorry, but this just isn't true. I see a trend with a lot of CDs wanting it in the bedroom, but I don't see many saying that they want to live their lives in total submission.

Again, I am making a lot of assumptions here. I don't know personally what you do in your everyday life for your SO. Personality wise, sure, I would say I am the "domineering" one in my relationship. But, by THAT domineering and bedroom domineering...completely different story. And, I don't encourage Ryan to tap into his submissive behaviors in our everyday relationship. Even though I may be the more dominant one naturally, I put him on my level as my equal. I do stuff for him and he does stuff for me...not because I'm dominant or he's submissive...just because we love each other. And, if THAT'S what you are talking about, I think that's perfectly normal. If not...then I am confused. I don't want to offend you and I don't judge you, but I am for expressing my viewpoints. If I have misinterpreted what you are saying, please let me know. Either in PM or on here. :hugs:

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Originally Posted by Shananigans

Hey, Brandy, I didn't mean to offend...let me set what I am saying straight. As I have said, I enjoy the D/S roles. However, these roles stay in the bedroom. We do not take them beyond the bedroom. (Although it could be argued that I am a very domineering and aggressive person outside of the bedroom when it comes to other things like work). I personally think that living in that submissive relationship to a person 24/7 IS dumb. Again, it's my opinion. (And, opinion are like a**holes, I know, and everyone's got one). But, I don't know how you go about your daily life or what your relationship is. I agree that what happens in the bedroom isn't "forced" submission. Whoever is in that role wants it.







What I am talking about is having that roleplaying go on 24/7 in your everyday life. For my SO and I it is very much roleplaying. Emphasis on the "playing" and that's why it is fun and exciting.

However, I must point out that you say that you freely love doing things for the lady you love...maybe your idea of D/S is different from what we do. It's not like I'm saying, "Baby, can you please take out the trash for me?" And, he does it and that is making him submissive. No, that's just being courteous and in a relationship. That's not submission.

And, I still stand by my grounds that if you are groveling to a person and submitting to their every whim 24/7 that it IS disturbing. I just personally don't find that to be a healthy relationship. I also think it's unfair of you to lump every CD into that category of being totally submissive. I'm sorry, but this just isn't true. I see a trend with a lot of CDs wanting it in the bedroom, but I don't see many saying that they want to live their lives in total submission.

Again, I am making a lot of assumptions here. I don't know personally what you do in your everyday life for your SO. Personality wise, sure, I would say I am the "domineering" one in my relationship. But, by THAT domineering and bedroom domineering...completely different story. And, I don't encourage Ryan to tap into his submissive behaviors in our everyday relationship. Even though I may be the more dominant one naturally, I put him on my level as my equal. I do stuff for him and he does stuff for me...not because I'm dominant or he's submissive...just because we love each other. And, if THAT'S what you are talking about, I think that's perfectly normal. If not...then I am confused. I don't want to offend you and I don't judge you, but I am for expressing my viewpoints. If I have misinterpreted what you are saying, please let me know. Either in PM or on here. :hugs:

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Shananigans, first let me apologize for taking so long to respond to your last post. I think I understand what you are trying to say and that you were not making a personal attack on me. No harm done. See, your view of what a submissive and a Dominant is, is very different then mine when I think read or hear those terms. Your mind processes it as something fun and fun only in the bedroom. I get this thought process you have from this one line you wrote: And, I still stand by my grounds that if you are groveling to a person and submitting to their every whim 24/7 that it IS disturbing. And in the way you think about it and expressed it, I would agree with you.
So when someone says they are submissive 24/7 to someone, you have those images of the things some might do ONLY in the bedroom. You don't see the loving side of what it is to some of us in a 24/7 relationship. But I can see why you feel that way. Not all D/s relationships are good or even healthy. Especially when it is the male that is the dominant. So many take advantage of someone's low self esteem and low opinion of themselves. They feel they have to submit to keep that so called Dom. Many are abused and used my some low-life jerk of a man that calls himself a Dom simply to get a woman to do anything he says. Now that's sick. I'm sure there are some GG Dommes that do the same thing to a male that has a low level of self respect and self esteem. But it's more rare...I hope.
The images and what we think when we read or hear certain words can set of a very negative thought process for us. Kind of like the images and thoughts I have when I hear or read the term sissy, or sissy maid. I hate those terms and have very negative thoughts about what anyone that calls themselves a sissy is really like. So I think I see where you are coming from. Again, no harm done. I still respect and like you. :):D

I'm usually more calm and relaxed when dressed, Its weird as soon as I put on my lingerie its like a switch is turned on.

Submission in the bedroom is fun & exciting, regardless of whether it's with a male, female, or TG person. Other than that, no- I'm a modern woman. :)

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Originally Posted by Sarah Charles

I'm thinking that our marriage doesn't have a dom-sub subtext, so I don't really know how that would work. In the rest of my life I usually try to be cooperative and enabling to others, primarily because I'm lazy and if I can get them to handle stuff, I can sit. Sometimes, however I end up being the one in control because no one else wants it and there is no good way out of it. I do okay.

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similar to my relationship/life

All Nonsense ! ... here is your riding crop Madame... ;o)

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Originally Posted by kellyanne

All Nonsense ! ... here is your riding crop Madame... ;o)

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Now that's funny, I don't care who ya are.:eek:

I just want to tell those that are interested, that my SO, the one I love and serve, that she has joined this site and is just waiting for the Administrators to approve her. I am glad she has honored me by wanting to be a part of our site.
I hope some of you will give her a warm welcome when she makes her introduction message. She will also join FAB once she makes the necessary 10 posts and receives an invitation.

I think at some point we all like to be submissive , we are creatures of habit and change . Even Straight Men < the considered norm > likes to be submissive at some point as well as the Woman being Dominant at some point . I think it comes down to whoever has the Strongest Physical urge wants to be the more Dominent .